#also i tried a new captions technique and i think i like it

[california-112]

X-Files Parallels | S04E04 'Unruhe' vs S05E11 'Kill Switch'

For @azure-firecracker: "It’s the calling out for each other while on the brink of death in a trailer for me"

[heyftinally]

Swifties do love setting Taylor up.

Just what I saw on Twitter Yesterday:

1989 is a pop Bible that everybody knows. - Well if it's trash maybe.

Reputation is hip hop ??? - What?

Reputation is goth Rock ?? - Lol

That Reputation is also supposed to be R&nB - like where?? wtf?

And her new album the Treacherous Dead Poets Default is an album with a new sound.

Or this yt lady on tt that was claiming that no other artists has transcended genres as successfully as taylor did. 😭 And she mentions Rock? Girl where? And literally there are tons of artists who did it way better than her.

Or that one video which they have now deleted bc taylor was getting dragged. It was a video of her just walking on stage and singing (not live) and the caption was like: I can't believe she was doing that for the first time. ' - Some small part of me does feel sorry for these delusional fanbase. Cause she has the highest grossing tour right now. Big emphasis on right now cause that record is not forever. Anyways they can not post much about her performance anywhere without people using it to drag her. Cause let's face it. She can't perform. She's not serving. She's giving nothing. Her dancers slay more than she does.

Pffffft Taylor went from pop country to pop and never changed again. Slightly different vibes? Sure. Still pop. She wouldn't know rock if it smacked her in the head.

Missy Elliott is hip hop. Early P!nk (ie Most Girls) is R&B. Sumo Cyco is goth rock (+ others, but still). Taylor Swift wouldn't touch any of those genres with a 10ft pole, and quite frankly she'd suck at them if she tried lol.

She doesn't "transcend genres", and considering she can't even make different versions of pop sound good, I think we know why.

And no, she can't perform. Let me flex my expertise here: I'm a trained dancer. Specifically with 26 years of training in tap, jazz, ballet, theater, and contemporary, with additional training in commercial/street jazz (aka music video and tour choreography) and various other styles in sporadic classes. I've literally been choreographing since I was about seven years old, and have been analyzing commercial choreography since I was 15.

That said,

Her performances are not only weak, but they show me that her tour choreographer either

Doesn't exist and she created all of her own "dancing" herself

Doesn't know how to adapt choreography for someone with virtually no dance technique

Actively has something out for Taylor and is trying to make her look bad

I'm going to reference "Look What You Made Me Do" from the Eras tour, because that's the most recent and clearest to illustrate my point

A video of the performance in question, for reference.

Okay, first off, right off the bat, her hand floating on her hip looks awkward and uncomfortable. It's giving "over-excited 8yo at recital". For someone with as much experience as she has performing, I'd expect her to look more settled in her beginning pose. She looks like she's overthinking, and thus it looks under rehearsed.

Then we have that flexed hand - yes it's a nit pick, but that pose belongs very few places outside of a 6yo's tap dance.

Movibg on, her robotic movements look messy as fuck. Sharp isolations like that are HARD. A lot of dancers with years of training struggle with getting the kind of sharpness you would expect to see from that choreography. And on the scale of a stadium like she's in, everything is amplified. If it's messy, it's going to look five times as messy as it might on a smaller scale, because the further away the audience is, the more detail gets lost. So you're movements need to be SHARP in order to translate to the audience. Add to that that this is clearly filmed professionally/intentionally, and it really just looks unprofessional/poorly planned.

Meanwhile the things like the "don't like you" scolding (besides looking childish) are so small that you wouldn't see them beyond the front row. When you're choreographing even for a normal stage, the #1 rule is make everything BIG and intentional. If you're kicking, you're hitting AT LEAST a 45° angle, and with the force of trying to kick the winning soccer (football) goal. Taylor doesn't do that. Those movements are small, sad, and weak, and it honestly looks lazy. I know a 10yo currently doing a competitive dance solo to this song, and I shit you not that 10yo is 50x more interesting to watch perform than Taylor.

So yeah, her music has been one note since Fearless one note (uninspired pop), and her "stage presence" is about on par with an 8yo who doesn't want to be here.

[kaidabakugou]

♡notes: idk i just had a little thought and couldn’t stop thinking about this + i want a new tattoo, also pretend tattoos are normal and accepted in japan :)

imagine being a well known tattoo artists that gets the opportunity to be part of a famous tattooing competition to determine the best artists and pro hero bakugou who’s full of tattoos is invited to be one of the guest judges and that’s where he meets you

immediately catching his eye, not just with your pretty face and glossy lips that he can’t stop staring at and your tight outfit that accentuates every curve on your body so sinfully he’s shifting in his seat, but with your designs as well and your specialty in japanese style tattoos that have him even more enraptured with you because that’s mostly the only design he likes on his skin

not hiding how he goes straight to your station when all the artists are tattooing and the judges get to go around checking everyone’s progress, lingering there longer than he should as the cameras capture how the straight and intimidating face he had when he first came in has completely morphed into smirks and smiles and subtle praises that make it obvious he loves what you’re doing but not too much so he doesn’t get in trouble given he’s still a guest, saving the bigger praises for when it’s time to actually judge the design and he tries to contain the whirl of emotions in his stomach when he sees your pretty smile after the judges give you a good critique

eyes sparkling when he gives you his and expresses how much he loves the design, the technique and how spot on you are with all the technicalities that go into the tattoo and he can’t help but mirror your smile before finishing his critique by saying he’d love to have you do something like this on his skin which has the competitions hashtag blowing up on every platform because everyone knows the bakugou katsuki doesn’t get tattooed by just anyone, only having a few selected trusted artist that are the best of the bests

approaching you behind the scenes when he sees you go up to the snack bar to grab a quick bite before the next shoot starts but the cameras happen to catch it to add to a little slide show during the credits when the show ends and the fans go wild when the show airs because everyone has been wanting to know for weeks after the show is finished who dynamight’s new girl is and who’s the artist that did his new tattoo that he has yet to reveal, but once they watch the show everything falls into place and they connect the dots, getting all the confirmation they need when he finally posts his new tattoo and tags you with the caption

“new piece by my favorite girl”

[archivyrep]

R2-D2: An Unintentional Archivist? [Part 2]

Continued from part 1

He serves a vital role in getting the plans of the Death Star into the right hands, as shown in Rogue One and A New Hope, and Leia's message to Obi-Wan and Luke. Again, since he wasn't memory wiped, he recognized Kenobi from before. Later, in comics like Princess Leia 3, data from his memory banks is useful once again. He even withheld information from Luke to protect him from the Sith, as shown in Star Wars (2015) 5. Even more interesting is that by The Force Awakens he had gone into a low power mode and tried to organize his information:

...the droid's low-power mode allowed his diagnostic systems to attempt organizing the vast troves of information his databanks had collected over the years. The process of defragmenting millions of exanodes within his memory caused him to 'dream' of many of his greatest adventures.

Reprinted from my Wading Through the Cultural Stacks WordPress blog. Originally published on Nov. 9, 2022.

That must be some good records management! He is even able to help when there is an attempt to build yet another Death Star-type weapon, as he STILL has the plans of the original Death Star downloaded! What is his lifespan? Isn't there any degradation of his data? He even later restore C-3PO's memory in The Rise of Skywalker. While the page says he was "destroyed", this is referring to the episode "Point of No Return" in Star Wars: The Clone Wars, when he was rebuilt. The page also states, summarizing Star Wars: The Force Awakens: The Visual Dictionary, that he had "sophisticated computer access equipment" allowing him to read whole networks and had been "secretly keeping internal copies of much of the data he had accessed over the decades"!

Specifically, R2 engages in accrual, by acquiring additional records, but also has actionable information, i.e. data "assembled to facilitate decision making." He probably also has active records, information he restricts from "unauthorized disclosure". Considering he is a robot, his records are more likely organized in an alphanumeric fashion, instead of alphabetically by subject, software of some sorts. He may have a device like a bulk eraser which can "rapidly remove recorded information from magnetic media without having to touch the surface", something which enemies of him undoubtedly have.

As is states in a caption on Wookieepedia, "Leia Organa entrusts the future of the Rebel Alliance to R2-D2." That's a lot of faith in a droid!

The Legends page doesn't add much more at first, other than his role in Star Wars: Clone Wars, the first animated series which was later superseded by Star Wars: The Clone Wars many years later. It does not how he is often a conduit of information, especially during the Clone Wars, as shown in Star Wars: Clone Wars. In a now, not-canon The Secret Disk, R2 copies a "top-secret information disk", a story continued, and concluded, in The Cloud. Otherwise, he was hacked, broke into computer systems, fixed robots, and did much more. All the while he has techniques set policies and supervise the "creation, organization, access, and use of large quantities of information".

Even more significant is in Dark Nest I: The Joiner King when he shared holograms of Anakin and Padme with Luke and Leia, not wanting to do, at first, in order to protect them. Later, it was said he was "passed down from generation to generation within the Skywalker family", almost like a family heirloom. The page goes onto state he had more personality than other droids possible because "his memory [was] never being erased or reprogrammed". After all, as the page notes, he is one of few characters to "appear in all six primary Star Wars films"!

Is it any coincidence that a data resilience and integrity plan, officially named "reactive redundancy for data destruction protection" would stand for R2D2? I think not. Others have noted that in the Death Star, people can access the network and do whatever they want, stating that "R2D2 was able to plug into the system and access information without any audit report". It is then noted that R2 was able to "plug into the system and manipulate different functions of the Death Star." Records managers have also likened themselves to R2. [2] At the same time, R2 has disposable records which are either shortly or immediately destroyed and has his own forms of document management.

In the end, perhaps we can say that R2 is an archivist who has an electronic recordkeeping system of some type, and survives longer than anyone, somehow not dying despite everything that happens.

© 2022 Burkely Hermann. All rights reserved.

Notes

[2] "Document Management: 5 Ways Your Business is Like the Death Star and How to Fix it Now" and "Nicole Thorne-Vicatos ARIM" pages.

[neoheros]

fuckboy! bokuto headcanons

— find the fuckboy! masterlist here ♡

the day you and bokuto met was one of the most annoying days of your life

hands down, even the thought of reminiscing what that day put you through is enough to send chills down your spine

it was your first year in a new school and work had already been piled on you mercilessly

you had plans on going to a high quality university once you graduated so you figured you’d better start on extra curriculars as soon as possible

of course when you joined the school newspaper and student council you didn’t really expect to end up being that busy

you, on the verge of tears: hi are you taking in member applications because i’m short on one sports activity and i really don’t want that to be the reason why my favorite uni rejected me because i’ll be damned if volleyball ruins my life and—

bokuto, alarmed: please stop crying

he was the only silver lining that day that made it worth it to recall how hard your first year was

now you’re both graduating and close as ever that you’re actually kind of thankful that you went through all that just to meet him

he wasn’t exactly the most attentive boy in class but what he lacked in academics he made up for in sports

when you saw him play volleyball for the first time, you were flat out star struck at his skills and that’s when you understood why so many girls would go after him

he had a reputation in school and you were well aware of the fact that hanging around him meant that getting hated by his numerous dates and flings

you didn’t care though, you were there to graduate and get a fantastic gpa like everyone expected you to

you told bokuto all this the first time he tried to hit on you and at first he was confused to why you’d turn him down but then you offered him to be friends instead and he was more than ecstatic to accept

so now you’re in the running to graduate senior year in the honor roll and all your references have been backed up by solid hard work and proof that you’re sure if the uni doesn’t accept you then it’s going to be their fault and not yours

you: at this point i’m gonna be the most eligible college applicant there is

bokuto: but at the cost of blowing me over every time i ask to hang out 😔

you: personally i find those to be the highlight of our friendship

being best friends with bokuto is quite literally the meaning of getting the best of both worlds

he was there to redirect your focus when you were clearly too frantic to remember your goals but he was also the one to drag you out for a break or two when you’re too deep in your head

“i’m with someone right now but i had to ask— have you eaten yet?” he says into the phone, smiling shyly at his date who’s kind enough to let him take a minute to himself.

you snort, “i have this new technique where i get through my chapters and diet at the same time and it’s basically a win win situ—”

you hear him sigh and mumble an apology to the person he was with, shuffling over the phone as you try to tell him you were gonna be fine

bokuto: i’m on my way and just so you know, you owe me

you: bro this was from your own volition

he snaps you a photo of him in his car with a gloomy expression, but you’re quick to notice the mcdonald’s sign in the corner

you snap him back, “if ur getting me food, get me a mcflurry too ok <3”

to which he replies almost too quickly with a picture of himself giving you a thumbs up and the caption, “i know i’m not an idiot”

he takes care of you a lot and sometimes you find yourself guilty for putting that obligation on him but he never fails to reassure you that it felt nice to be committed to someone every now and then

you: you know that you’d actually be a good boyfriend if you stopped slutting around right

bokuto: you know that you’d actually be a good girlfriend if you stopped dating your books right

you, defeated: touché asshole

when it came to you, you just didn’t have time to worry about relationships and whatnot

you saw how your friends would get obsessed over them and completely derail their futures just to live in the ‘now’ of it all

you obviously called bullshit on that but could they blame you? you had high expectations for your life and you were sure as hell not gonna let some guy take you away from that

besides, you were best friends with the guy that made girls believe in love and break their hearts in one weekend, if the universe wanted you to have faith in dating then maybe they should’ve thought this one through

your phone dinged, ruining the silence you so enjoyed as bokuto peered over your shoulder to see what it was about

“hi ! i’m from your class and i’ve always found you so pretty, would you mind going ou—” he read aloud in a laugh and you delete the message before he could finish

bokuto: yknow one of these days you’re gonna get murdered by one of your admirers who just couldn’t let anyone else have you

you: and i will thank them for that 😌✨

“if you’re turning down all these men because you’re waiting for me to ask you out then all you have to do is say so.” he grins, and it gets wider when he sees you divert all your attention towards him.

you look at him dead in the eye, “no.”

his expression drops, pointing at his heart as he pouts, “that’s hurtful.”

you roll your eyes, telling him all about the plans that you would rather prioritize over falling in love, going on and on about how it would bring you nothing but setting you back and all that

he could only cross his arms as he listens to you ramble, amazed at how you’re saying so many things and all of them were just flat out wrong

it used to hurt him when you talked about swearing off love but the more he listened to it over the years the more amusing it got

he knew one day you’d end up finding someone to love the way he thinks he loves you and maybe it’d be him or maybe it’d be someone you just haven’t met yet

one day you’d realize how important it is to feel and give love to those who mean much to you

maybe you’d even notice the signs that he’s been trying to give you all these years

but in the mean time, you were his problem to deal with, and he didn’t mind taking all the words you said about hating love as long as he could spend every moment of it with you.

[gynarchyboi]

About

PLEASE DON'T MESSAGE ME WITHOUT READING MY ENTIRE PROFILE!!!!

PLEASE DON'T MESSAGE ME WITHOUT READING MY ENTIRE PROFILE!!!!

PLEASE DON'T MESSAGE ME WITHOUT READING MY ENTIRE PROFILE!!!!

It will only waste your time and mine.

Really, you should read all of my captioned pictures and my Writings section before you message me. I don't want to trample you or kick you in the balls. I don't even know you.

I am NOT a professional dom. (sorry boys) This is a discreet picture of me on my profile page. Yes, it is really me. I have a serious and very public job so my S&M proclivities are kept private. I have dominated the same man now for over a decade. A good way to get to know me is to read the captions of the pictures I have posted on my profile page. You don't need to ask permission, feel free to friend and follow me.

** I NEVER ACCEPT MONEY OR GIFTS FROM SUBMISSIVE MEN! **

I am not a Fin Domme.

I never thought my sub and I would have come as far as we have. It has been an amazing journey. I am a female supremacist. Luckily for me, I found a man who agrees with me. From the beginning I told him that I would not be satisfied with a bit of dress up and erotic spankings. If he wanted to submit to me in the bedroom then I required that he submit in every aspect of our lives. He agreed. He encouraged me to take advantage of him using every technique I could think of using. He even supplied me with blackmail material in case he tried to change his mind. It's easy to see why I love him.

Fair warning. I've been told that the men who read my writings come away changed. That was my intention. How deep does the rabbit hole go? Deeper than you can imagine. You've unexpectedly dropped into something that might prove intense if you allow it.

Please don't waste my time messaging me that you want to be my slave. You don't even know me. I could be a murderer. I'm NOT a professional domme and I am not trolling for new customers. I also don't respond to the hundreds of questions that pour in proving that whoever is asking has not bothered to read anything I've written. All they really want is to "chat" with a dominant woman. And, everyone of them thinks that they are special.

You are not special. Your mommy told you that you were, but it's not true. She lied to you.

Instead of messaging me, post under my Writing section. It's much better if you read them in order. Start at the oldest and read them first. I read all comments. Also, read the comments under my photos. Some of my followers managed to save hundreds of my captioned pictures from being erased by Fetlife. I think you'll like them.

[r0zyp0zy0zy]

Hi!! I’m new to the Haikyuu fandom but Kageyama is my favorite so far!! Can you do numbers 20 and 24 with him please? Thank you in advance! 🧡🖤

Haikyuu!! Prompt list trial

HQ!! Prompt list

Thanks for requesting! I’m also fairly new to the Haikyuu fandom <3

The other requests are in the works, they might just take a bit longer bc I’m swamped with school stuff! Happy reading :D

Words: 2400+

Warnings: possible weight trigger?, Kags calls you heavy 😔

Pairing: Kageyama Tobio x FEM!reader

Prompt(s): 20- "I didn't mean it like that, I was trying to... tease you. That's what you do, right? When you have feelings?" & 24- "don't leave me here with her/them!"

The mind of Kageyama was mostly a mystery; his skull hollow with a few volleyballs bouncing around. He wasn't the smartest to say the least— Have you seen his report card?

So, when his heart pumped 10x faster than when he was on the court when he was around you, he only thought he wasn't feeling well that day. Next was his voice; constantly stuttering for no apparent reason when he was chatting with you. Kageyama had not a clue what was going on with him until Tanaka spoke up for him, asking how long Kageyama was going to wait before asking you out. The boy in question just wrinkled his nose and went to toss another ball to an energetic redhead.

Nishinoya and Tanaka cornered the unsuspecting setter in the club room, trapping him with their looming auras. Kageyama only stared at them quizzically for a moment before a phone was shoved in his face.

"Look, dude, check out this article!" Tanaka grinned, raising his eyebrows.

"Is it about volleyball?" Kageyama asked as he threw on his uniform.

"No—"

"—don't wanna look at it then," Kageyama interrupted his upperclassmen, grabbing his bag and hoisting it over his shoulder.

"C'mon bro!" Argued Nishinoya, blocking the door with pure physics, clinging to the frame, "we just wanna help you get with y/n! This Wiki article will save you from your lack of social awareness around her."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kageyama mumbled, glancing at the phone pointed at him. It was titled: 'How to Flirt with Girls'. Now, he wasn't necessarily considering reading it, but it was tempting. "Why d'you want me to flirt with y/n? She's my friend."

"She's your crush is what she is. Are you really too dense to realize your feelings?" Tanaka said. "Actually- yeah. You are. Here, I'll text you the link."

Later that night when Kageyama was trying to sleep, his mind wandered in circles thinking about his feelings towards you. He didn't think he had time to develop a crush, but here he was pulling up his phone to check the link his upperclassman sent him. He squinted at the bright WikiHow screen, and scrolled down to read the captions. He glanced at the first three options, not really reading (or caring) about 'don't forget to smile!' and 'don't cross your arms'.

The only title that caught his eye was 'Tease Her'. Kageyama knew how to do that; it was easy. He did it with Hinata all the time! He blushed just thinking about making you flustered, a wish that he didn't know he had until tonight. He didn't bother with reading the rest of the article, feeling confident in himself that he knew what to do. He threw his phone back onto his nightstand and cuddled into his bedsheets, grinning wildly.

Tobio didn't know what he was getting into when he asked Tanaka and Nishinoya about the skill of teasing. He had only wanted a few pointers from the 'pros', and some advice on what to do after you were charmed by him.

"Oh ho ho!" Tanaka said excitedly, waving his hands around as he ranted. "Make sure to insult her playfully, but always tell her how beautiful she is afterwards! Oh, and don't forget about the lingering touches! Girls love that stuff, trust me."

Kageyama nodded along, turning to Nishinoya, "don't forget to smile! Girls love sweet smiles~."

The raven haired boy was practically buzzing with anticipation as he waited at the table he usually ate at with you, desperate to try out his new flirting techniques. He smiled at you, something he usually did but he tried making it brighter. He felt his chest bubble when you raised your eyebrows at him, giving a cute smile in return.

You were wondering what the hell was up with Kageyama. You knew he wasn't the best at smiling, but when he flashed his teeth it was just downright creepy. You tried not to laugh as you sat beside him, pulling out your lunch to sit on the table in front of you. A huff left your lips as Tobio snatched away your bento, raising it above his head with a playful smirk.

"Kageyama-kun," you raised a brow playfully. "You want me to starve or something?"

"Just watching your weight," he replied, grin still plastered on his face.

You deadpanned at him, giving him a scowl, "don't say stuff like that, it makes me feel like shit."

"You're still p-pr-er, P-p-pretty in my eyes," your friend stammered, his stance wavering. You lazily tried to grab your lunch back, but Tobio's long arms kept it out of your reach.

You sighed, giving him a teasing grin before reaching out and tickling his armpit. He choked out a laugh and your bento fell out of his hand, and you caught it. Kageyama gave you a frustrated pout and watched as you ate your food.

"Serves you right for calling me fat," you said through a mouthful, cringing at your manners, "that wasn't very nice."

"You're only heavy because of your muscle," Kageyama said, propping a fist on his cheek, "you'd be good at serving." You looked at him quizzically, trying to figure out what was up with him today.

"Y-your clothes look cool today," Tobio offered, trying to keep up with his 'flirtatious' act.

"... dude I literally wear the same thing every day. Y'know, my uniform," now you were really confused. Was he messing with you? Or was he just being his usual weird self?

A blush creeped onto his face and he looked away, burring his face in his own lunch. You ate in an odd silence, occasionally catching Kageyama taking glances at you.

"Y-you're, erm, very..." Tobio trailed off, refusing to look at you. His face was red with embarrassment and he stared at his empty lunchbox, tapping his fingers on the table rhythmically.

"Go on~," you pressed, glaring holes in his head.

Kageyama perked up suddenly, putting an arm around your shoulders, "you look heavy, let me hold it for you. Wait—."

"Ok, dude. What's up with you?!" You were getting pissed now, and you quickly packed up your bento. "I'm going to my class early."

Before he could stop you, you peeled his arm from your body and sped walked away into a bathroom. Kageyama blushed in frustration, cursing at his stupid twisted tongue. He couldn't believe he messed up the simplest pick up line, the one that Nishinoya had taught him. Maybe Tsukishima was right, he was going to scare you off before he could make a proper move. He groaned angrily into his hands and shoved his lunch container into his bag, huffing down the hall to get to his class.

You sunk down into your seat, trying not to let the interaction with Kageyama rule your mind. Was was up with him today? You thought. He was usually odd, but not this odd. You laid out your things in front of you and organized them to distract yourself. You slightly jumped at the sound of the first bell, and you heard the hallway outside start to get louder with footsteps and laughing chatter.

"Hi y/n-san!" Yamaguchi said, and you looked up at him.

"Hey," you mumbled.

"What's got you all grouchy?" Tsukishima chuckled as he sat by his desk beside yours.

"I'm sorry," you sighed, "Kageyama-kun was just being a dick during lunch."

"What'd he do?" Yamaguchi asked, sitting in his seat behind you. He gathered his notebook and pencil case.

"He was being really weird. Er, weirder than normal," you started. "He tried holding me back from my lunch and he basically called me fat. But then he said I was heavy because I had so much muscle? Which doesn't even make sense, and then he said I'd be good at setting which is— I mean ok?"

Tsukishima snickered from beside you as he opened his binder, and Yamaguchi blushed a little at his teammate's actions.

"And then he told me that my clothes looked nice. My uniform clothes, that I wear every day," you puzzled almost to yourself, forgetting that your friends were listening to your rant. "Oh, he also said like, I dunno, a pickup line or something? He said that 'I looked heavy and he wanted to hold 'it'' whatever the hell he was supposed to mean by that."

Tsukki had to shove a hand over his mouth to keep himself from combusting into boisterous laughter, Yamaguchi doing the same. You frowned and rolled your eyes, turning to look at the board as the second bell rang.

"The idiot's got a crush on you," Tsukishima spilled, chest shaking from the aftershocks of his laughter.

"W-wha—," you started.

"—Tsukki!" Yamaguchi interrupted. "You told me that you weren't gonna mess with Kageyama-kun's relationships!"

Tsukishima just shrugged before turning to the board, your eyes bulging at him. "He fucking what—."

"I know!" Tsukishima smirked, "I didn't think he had any emotion for anything but volleyball."

You opened your mouth to reply, but got cut off by your teacher. You frowned as you set up your notes, messily writing your name and the date. Kageyama's actions now made sense to you, knowing how awkward he is in expressing his feelings.

After class as you walked down the hall, Tsukishima sported a sly grin. You eyed him quizzically, not trusting the look in his eyes. He smirked harder at your glance and chuckled.

"I have a plan," the blonde said, pushing up his glasses. "I'm gonna shove Kageyama in the equipment room with you."

"And so I get a say in this at all?" You pressed, glaring playfully at him.

"Well, what do you say?" He asked.

"I say yes," you said, Yamaguchi facepalming at your response.

You followed the two boys down to the gym where they practiced, and waited by the door until Yamaguchi gave you the clear that no one was there yet except for the third years. Tsukishima led you to the double doors of the equipment room and you took a step inside the dark room, turning on your flashlight.

"If you hear an even three knocks, open the door immediately," you ordered, shaking slightly. "Incase he does something... weird," you faltered slightly, and Yamaguchi nodded quickly.

"Whatever," the tall blonde in front of you said, "just get in before he comes in the gym— oh, he's here."

The door was closed suddenly, and you were left alone with only your phone flashlight to protect you. You took a deep breath as you heard voices outside the heavy doors, trying to regulate your heartbeat. What were you doing? What was your plan after he gets trapped inside? The doors opened and filled the room with light for a brief moment before the space was consumed in darkness once again.

"Hey!" You heard Kageyama yell beside you, pounding on the door, "what the hell?!"

You laid a gentle hand on his shoulder and he whipped around to slap you away, faltering when he realized it was you. His eyes widened and he was glad you couldn't see the blush that flourished on his face. Kageyama was silent for a few moments before hammering at the door again.

"Guys! Don't leave me here with her!" He panicked when you pulled his hands away from the doors, and he went quiet.

"Calm down, Kageyama-kun," you stifled a giggle. "You're only here so you can apologize to me."

"W-what?" He stuttered, body going stiff.

"Just say sorry for offending me," you shrugged. His eyes were glued to the floor, hands still trapped by your grip.

"I- I thought... I didn't mean it like that, I was trying to... tease you. That's what you do, right? When you have feelings?" Kageyama's blush crawled across his whole face all the way to the tips of his ears and he squeezed his eyes shut, terrified of what your next words were going to be.

"So you do have a crush on me," you pondered, loosening your hold on his wrists. The boy in front of you snapped his hands to his sides and anxiously squeezed his fists.

"How...?" Kageyama held his breath, as if afraid of your answer.

"Hmm, a little birdie told me~," you teased, running a finger down his chest. His breath hitched in his throat and a shiver ran down his spine when he felt your hot breath whisper onto his ear, "I'm still waiting for your apology."

"I'm s-sor-sorry for what I s-said at lunch today..." Kageyama stammered, rubbing his arm awkwardly.

"I accept your apology!" You smiled and went in for a hug, crushing his arms to his sides. "Meet me after practice near the vending machines~," you murmured playfully.

"—what are you guys doing?!" Daichi's muffled yell came through the door. "You can't just trap people in there!"

Kageyama tensed and he tried to pull away, but you held him closer. The bright light from the gym poured into the small room, illuminating all of the equipment and yourselves.

"Are you oka— oh," Daichi cut himself off, eyes widening at the sight of a girl hugging his underclassman. You peaked at him over Kageyama's shoulder and gave a shy smile, pulling away slowly.

"Bye, Tobio-chan," you adjusted your bag and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "See you after your practice."

The group of boys watched in silence as you skipped your way out the gym door, too shocked to say anything. Kageyama's face grew hotter and he reached up to touch where you kissed him. He felt like he was going to pass out.

"Kageyamaaaaa!!" Hinata yelled, shaking his friend viciously, "was that your girlfriend?! Why didn't you tell us you had one?! She's so pretty! Why does she even like you?!"

"Chill out Hinata-kun," Daichi said sternly, pulling the redhead away by the back of his shirt. "Kageyama-kun, be ready for practice in five."

Tobio nodded slowly, his hand still on his cheek in bewilderment. He was too excited to tell Hinata off, completely blocking out his friend. He couldn't wait for practice to end.

[king-litchi]

Picture source : @Mnine5 (Meijo) in Twitter

Note : actually, it’s not a request but I was bored and I wondered « what kind of person would the SNK characters on the social medias be » - soo here we go

Sorry for my english…I am french and I still learning - please forgive me and protect your eyes 🤧

Warning : (12+) social media can be dangerous

SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN ON SOCIAL MEDIA 💥

Eren

Instagram : friends, family, abs, outfits, travel….king of instagram, super popular on instagram, everyone follow him but he only follows his friends and instagram he finds interesting, over time it has become an influence, Eren has like a million followers on Insta @IamErenJaeger

Snapchat :  « who has a netflix account ? » in story, selfies with friends at all kinds of events, often takes pictures of Mikasa and Armin by surprise, never puts a filter on for him or for the people he snaps, everyone can watch his story and comment (public baby), already received nudes… @ErenJaegeeer

Whatsapp : he is in all group discussions but rarely answers, when he answers it is surely because the conversation becomes funny or because they talk about Jean and then it degenerates (when too far between Eren and Jean everyone leaves the group and they end up « wait…everyone is gone…? ») and a new groupe is created but the fight starts again (others are like « here we go again » )

Twitter :  can easily get upset in a debate, is not afraid to say what he thinks, it is blocked by a lot of people (please take away his twitter), has a large fanbase : Jaegerist (@CaptainFlochForster is the leader fanbase…best to avoid them.) it’s very simple : either you’re wrong or you’re not right @ErenJaeger

Tumblr :  He is not really known on tumblr, follow only his friends and is followed only by his friends. Does a lot of reblog tumblr he likes and post a lot kind of sick jokes like « What is the only dog you can eat? - A Hot Dog » (20 followers…)

Armin

Instagram : sharing photos of his travels around the world, a lot of ocean scenery, monuments like the Eifel Tower, does not put a photo of him or his friends, his instagram is public to share his beautiful photos with the world  (2,5K followers) @ArminVibe

Twitter : Sharing conspiracy theories with other twittos, if by misfortune a conspiracy ends up in TT you can be sure that it will tweet all evening, twitter reveals its dark side, It can deal with all subjects and he’s gonna take his time to make you understand that you’re WRONG @ArminArlett

Snapchat : he doesn’t know why he has a snapchat, if you send him a snap photo he will just look without answering but if you start a discussion he will probably lose your message if you have not recorded (his fault, but he really does not do it on purpose, he does not really drag on this social media)

Whatsapp : quite active on whatsapp, in groups it is the one that stays the longest active, uses a correct grammar, always has time for someone who needs to talk (a colossal heart…)

Tumblr : very popular on tumblr with his famous landscape photos, he also likes to share theories with whoever wants it, has created a discussion group of which Erwin and Hanji are part (these three are often found in several discussion groups…), is subscribed to Annie

Mikasa

Instagram : her account is private (like most of his social medias) if she does not know you be sure that she will never accept a subscription request (and she receives a lot of subscription requests), sometimes post photos of Eren and her, sometimes with Armin and a picture with the whole group together, has maximum 5 publications and has maximum 100 subscriptions and she subscribes to only 25 people (who are they?) and her favorite girl’s band @MikasaAckerman

Twitter : is fan of girl’s band, a twitter just to follow their news, she has already been on top tweet (never knew why and honestly she doesn’t care), her account is totally private but she receives a lot of follow requests (she declines) @MikasaAckerman

Snapchat : does not do a lot of selfie but she likes cute filters, often does black snap with dark quotes « the sun always shines after a dark night » , tends to reply 2 days after being sent a snap (🤡) yet she makes the flames with Eren (already 834 flames) so she just ignores snaps

Whatsapp : she is in full of group discussions, but always reads without answering (”Read”), she often ends up leaving the discussion groups (but there is always someone to add her to the group, often Sasha)

Tumblr : has a fake account, by the way she is super popular, she posts her covers of her favorite songs @Mikasong (fucking great voice), already has a small community

Reiner

Instagram : is totally subscribed to Emily Ratajkowski (but who is not?), was the first happy to know that the likes are hidden, kind to like a lot of ass and body fitness (…<.<) it’s sure Historia blocked him (probably deserved) @ReinerBraun

Twitter : profile photo of a football player, often mentions his friends, and ALWAYS mentions Conny for challenges « Dare or not to ring your neighbor’s door at 3:00am and ask him for sugar », the kind to tweets like « Nicki Minaj or Cardi b ? » @ReinerTheBigBrother

Snapchat : You see this guy who makes a lot of views on snap and who everyone asks for publicity? Yes, it’s Reiner. Become master of the screenshot (already found himself in a complicated situation because of it…this awkward moment where you catch something you shouldn’t capture…), also receives nudes (btw 🤡) he never watches stories @ReineerGg

Whatsapp : he often ends up being ejected from discussion groups for his dubious humour and is often the victim of Ymir’s blackmail (screenshots can be fatal…)

Tumblr : he doesn’t even know what it’s for

Bertholdt

Instagram : has two instagram accounts, the first is his real account, he only follows his friends and is only followed by his friends and the second is a (secret) fan account on Annie Leonhart @fannie-kickass

Snapchat : goes selfie on occasions like birthdays (party) or when he is with friends, likes animal filters, snap everyone and without warning, during the evenings with friends he often finds himself in the snap of everyone without his knowledge and discovers him the next day (sleeper pose) @Berth5

Whatsapp : the kind of person to share a lot of petitions like « Hi, Nolan still needs 300,000 signatures to be able to convince his parents to buy him ps5 » (he can’t refuse to share when asked…colossal heart - like Armin <.<), calm in group discussions (is not the type to get involved in an argument, always remains neutral when the situation degenerates), he often speaks with Reiner privately and gives him advice on how to approach Annie - but by the time he decided to send a message to Annie, she had already deleted the application… (legend says he’s still waiting for an answer)

Twitter : if you identify him in a tweet, it will probably not read it but will still like it (why not), he does definitely part of the commentators of entertainment shows or sports matches @Bertholdt

Tumblr : hesitates to create a tumblr but does not really know what he could talk about

Annie

Instagram : shares his training and does not hesitate to make demonstrations of his techniques, is quite popular on instagram, to a lot of publication, post a photo with his father just after each victory with a caption « It is God who gives » ; already has a good community (320K followers), account is certified

Snapchat : never goes on his account, totally professional use, it is his father who manages his snapchat to post in story the videos her training and his official matches with the caption « Little Rocky 🔥 »

Whatsapp : it ended up deleting the app because too much discussion that ends in spam (it will be for a next time Berth)

Tumblr : her little cocoon where she can be herself, the only social media that has her interest, her tumblr is dedicated to the cat, she is a fan @Kitty-Catnnie , the only person in the group to know her tumblr is Armin with whom she sometimes chat

Twitter : She is still on top tweet despite her « Mikasa vs Annie, who wins ??? », she never tweet but retweet a lot of things especially those of Conny, it happens to like the tweets of commentator Jean

Jean

Instagram : if you want to see his account you must first subscribe, generally accept all requests, send quite a lot of DM like « you wouldn’t have a bandage because I hurt myself by falling in love with you » sometimes succeeds other times it ends blocked ( or screenshots that end up on Twitter) @JeanOfficiel

Snapchat : He was blocked by Mikasa and Eren (not for the same reasons), made the flames with everyone (but the most with Marco), has already tried to snap Mikasa in secret (it is caught in the act), loves selfies @Ihateeren

Whatsapp : the kind who doesn’t look to whom he sends a message and always has the wrong discussion, so becomes panicked « DONT READ!!! » accidentally already sent a nude in a group discussion (unfortunately screenshots have been made) Eren laughed about this story for several months like « How is Jeanbo doing ? He’s grown up since last time? » (he doesn’t talk about Jean…you know…)

Tumblr : he created a popular mini series on tumblr « You prefer…? » and also « If you were… » (the concept is very cool and we can do it with all the subjects), made a lot reblog, reblog ALL covers of Mikasa

Twitter : has been blocked by half of the tweetos sphere after several heated debates, is one of the people who comment on the shows mainly reality TV (he does it with passion) « SANDRA LEAVES WITH ANTONIO W/O MONEY !!!! IT’S A FUCKIIIING JOKE ?????!!!!! #TheVillaOfBrokenHeart2 » or « I’m the only one who hates Mike ? #MonacoShore » , it’s that kind of tweet that Annie likes) @JeanKirschtein

Marco

Instagram : accepts only requests from friends, his account is private, sharing small moments of his life with friends and families, use many hashtag like #AllThatGlittersIsNotGoldEvenJean (but nobody understands what he means)

Snapchat : often comments his friends’ stories, is the kind to come talk to you if you put a dark snap like « cruel world »

Whatsapp : often receives private messages like « Marco, are you there? » it always ends in long discussions (« The confidant ») he knows how to find the right words, it is active and always “available” if someone needs it

Twitter : always makes Jean’s defense on twitter, the kind of person to be part of a fanbase (like HarryPotter), uses hastag LGBT+

Tumblr : super popular on tumblr, he makes headcanons and screenplays of his favorite books, series and movies, has a preference for Yaoi but he can make any request (2K followers) @HalfMan

Conny

Instagram : very very popular on instagram thanks to his account with Sacha where they share their farce and does not hesitate to challenge, they post the pranks they make to their friends (1M followers) they are not yet certified @TwoDummies , he has a second private account :  with just family and friends (arround 55 followers) @hismotherson

Snapchat : the kind of person who does a snap at 2H00 of the mat « who for the flames », has a lot of snap discussions, always makes stories that ends badly like « I’m going to ride a bike » and in his last snap he ends up in emergency… (true story)

Whatsapp : has an unimaginable number of “caption this” for ALL situations, it sometimes created discussion groups (it’s just that it prepares a stupidity) otherwise is not super active but will always answer if it has a message

Twitter : clash with everyone « Your mother was pregnant for 9 months of your big head but you can’t stand a joke ? SHAME » (blocked), king of challenges, makes all the challenges where it is mentioned, retweet all the « Dare or not… » of Reiner, uses a lot of abbreviation, he invented a lot of hastag like #AlphaLevi and people have fun with his hastag

Tumblr : his more than empty tumblr, has no profile photo, and compulsive liker, it’s literally a fake account for liking funny things @JustConny

Sasha

Instagram : receives many comments under the photos of his joint account with Conny like « POTAETOS GIRL WE LOVE U » and « POTAETOS POWER », often pranks and ends up in the account, has a second private instafood account and also post photos with Nikolo @MadamePatate

Snapchat : oh my dear, he gets into a lot of trouble (funny drama) so stay connected for his “Storytime” evenings (we often hear Ymir commenting in the background with sarcasm and Conny’s laugh)

Whatsapp : the kind of person to send in a « bbiad » discussion (I’ll be back in a bit) and never come back in the discussion, written in abbreviation, loves group conversations

Twitter : has disabled twitter because of a "caption” that Conny posted on it (potaetos girl exists thanks to a tweet) but there reactivated a week later, tweets like a dramaqueen « WHAAAAT @netflix SEASON TWO IS COMING OUT TOMORROW BUT NOT TODAY  ???? WHYYYYYYYYY ! I’m never gonna be able to wait till tomorrow to eat my popcorns frkrkellelrlrl BUY ME POPCORNS NETFLIX BUUUY », has already been on top tweet #potatoesgirl

Tumblr : victim of her reputation even on tumblr, reblog a lot of post food and potential future challenges from Conny, often finds “caption this” with her face and always reacts with a more than dramatic surprise « SHIT AGAIN ??! »

Historia

Instagram : receives a lot of DM from people she doesn’t know, never accept them, like all the photos of her friends, you can see her insta only if you subscribe…(15K followers) @RealHistoria

Snapchat : renames all her friends by cute nicknames, the kind that snaps the place where she is or her food with a « have a nice day », queen of selfie, likes the filters

Whatsapp : uses a lot of emoji, hearts have become a punctuation, in group discussions she often comments « Ymir !! » after a sarcastic comment, tries to temper when the situation becomes too stormy

Twitter : avoids twitter like the plague, has disabled her account, reactivates it on occasions before losing interest once again, in fact her account is a fake where she is named @christaLenz

Tumblr : pretty active, committed LGBT+ activist, reblog testimonials, lots of likes, reblog Mikasa covers a.k.a Mikasong

Ymir

Instagram : a lot of photos of Historia (it looks like a fan account), often comments the photos of her friends (unfortunately for them) @Ymir

Snapchat : a lot of selfie with Historia, if a fight or something awkward happens in front of her she will be the first to make a snap (and no scruple to put it in her story), if Reiner is the King of awkward screenshots then she is the Queen for INTENTIONAL screenshots, her memories are filled with compromising photos on EVERYONE

Whatsapp : Do you remember the screenshots on snap? Well it is on Whatsapp that they find their usefulness. Can send them to a discussion group as if nothing had happened but her specialty is a service for her silence (yes blackmail) it’s never anything bad, but enough to piss off the victim (who is often Reiner)

Tumblr : forgot her password and honestly she doesn’t want to find it, why did she tumblr ?

Twitter : she is often upset about debates, often sarcastic in her retweets, « Caption This », always the last word, she is very popular on Twitter, she’s already been on top tweet (because a drama with her identity) @LadyYmir

Levi

Instagram : does not really look at his newsline, Instagram in black and white and very orderly (#GrandArt), his account is public but no one can comment on his photos @LeviAckerman

Snapchat : a block Hanji (too many snap video that turned into spam), to rename all his contacts by nicknames like « Brat Number one », « Brat Number 2 » (etc.) and Zeke « shithead » nothing abnormal, It has already posted a snap of his head in front camera (had not done it on purpose) deleted after realizing…(especially after receiving plenty of notifications), he and Zeke attack each other by proxy story (no one understands…but it’s funny to read)

Whatsapp : is always “offline” or “busy” but will always respond if sent a message, probably blocked Zeke on all social medias

Tumblr : shares his passion for tea and cleanliness, loves the healthy atmosphere of tumblr, has quite a fan, reblog and subscribes to Armin @TeaWithLevi

Twitter : Tweet by accident (in the pocket >.<) like « jf’dyt’rimsjrdy’yfgi » but other thant he almost never tweets, but when he does it is to complain or creepy « today I learned that a lollipop breaks easily like the legs of a clown » (…we don’t want understand), he’s already been on top tweet with the #AlphaLevi like « #AlphaLevi can surround his ennemies. Alone. » ; « #AlphaLevi makes the onions cry » ; « #AlphaLevi can go up downstairs » (we thank Conny for this hashtag) @LeviAckerman

Hanji

Instagram : honestly if you want to do a search on someone you have to check with Hanji, FBI of the net (”the stalker”), its account is public : post photos with Levi (who has to be taken by surprise) mentions everyone on its posts, photo with Moblit during their experiences (like “Break”), its instagram looks cool @OfficerZoe

Snapchat : snap often its scientific experiments (and other) and we always hear Moblit screaming in the background « Hanji-san! Back ! » , they like to comment on the stories of Levi and Zeke, already tried to make the flames with Levi and Erwin (tried without success)

Whatsapp : spends its time doing focus groups before it degenerates, its favorite pairs are Eren/ Jean and Levi/ Zeke but never has a battery

Tumblr : strangely its tumblr is very serious, they share its hypotheses and theories on scientific subjects, they talk about its experiences and future scientific experiments, they post the results of its research, has its own focus group (Erwin is one of them) @DrHZoe

Twitter : @Dr.troublegirl everything is in the pseudo, will accumulate and then become spectator of a massacre, his catchphrase is « you’re implying… »

Erwin

Instagram : it is very orderly and pleasant to look at, post works of art that crosses his path, does not often check his actuality but when he does it everyone is happy…(always the little comment that makes a good mood and a little like)

Snapchat : his story is public but only his “friends” can comment, snap his visits to the museum and snap a lot the streetart but is not really active when he makes “snap discussion” @Eyebrow (account created by Hanji…)

Whatsapp : uses impeccable punctuation and grammar, often discusses with Armin on intellectual topics and confronts their assumption he is the only one who is not part of a discussion group with ALL the characters (just a few groups like Hanji/Levi/Mike), from time to time he receives family photos of Niail and talks about old times

Twitter : activist totally committed to good causes ( #blacklivesmatter) (#justicepourAdama ), retweet the political news, has already tweeted with the #AlphaLevi @ErwinSmitt

Tumblr : pretty active, post on subjects that fascinate him (like history), his tumblr is very interesting and orderly, proposes developed theories and some people (students like Conny) go there to find answers to their homework… @Sasageyo

Zeke / Sieg

Instagram : created an insta to talk with Eren but he got blocked after commenting on one of his photos « Beautiful sweetren, you grow up day by day, signed your beloved brother » didn’t understand why he couldn’t see his instagram after that ; his instagram is very neat : instafood & instabook but doesn’t have many followers because his instagram account is private (like 150 follower) @ZekeJaerger

Snapchat : made stories to address to Eren instead of sending him directly in private (didn’t really understand the concept) that’s how to start the attacks between him and Levi, Eren ended up deleting the app to him

Whatsapp : uses impeccable grammar (also blocked Livai on all its social medias), tends to read without answering « Read since two days »

Twitter :  tweets like « I am now on twitter. » or  « Good Morning Twitter. » and lots of  « Join me on Candy Crush » , he also likes to comment on his favorite culinary shows with a lot hastag, honestly he is one of the people who blocked Eren on Twitter but does not really assume it  « What ? Weird…I must have hit the wrong button… » yes of course… @ZekeJaeger

Tumblr : reblog Erwin’s posts which he finds very interesting, to himself his own theories which he confronts with Erwin in discussion groups, is part of a quite popular team on tumblr “GenshiKyojin”, (with leader Eren Kruger) #uses #too #much #hastag (#like #me) @KemenoNoKyojin

[undine-taz]

5 times Diavolo failed to be a sugar daddy and one time he succeeded

I'm just imagining poor Diavolo trying SO HARD to spoil an MC who is just. Not greedy in the slightest and loves weird little shinies while being totally indifferent to the super crazy expensive gifts he usually gives to people he's trying to woo. Just in case, this is the PUREST OF FLUFF and completely sfw. I can’t even think of any tw to tag??? Let me know if you notice something. Oh, and MC is imagined to be gender neutral. There’s a mention of perfume, but not in the feminine sense- that’s just the proper word for a certain level of scent concentration.

1. Expensive Perfume

Diavolo's first attempt is the most expensive perfume/cologne money can buy

He's not quite sure what MC's favorite scent is, so he buys a wide variety

All the bottles are sleek and minimalistic and the scents inside are VERY obviously expensive, the kind of thing Mammon would probably lose his mind over

MC's reaction is perfectly grateful, they say sincerely how much they appreciate him thinking of them. He doesn't feel a single lie off of them and he walks away mostly satisfied thinking maybe they’re just the type to not show a ton of excitement over gifts

That is, until he's walking down the hallways in RAD and happens to overhear a conversation between Asmo and MC

Asmo's talking about how he's been going through perfume at a record pace lately, and he feel so bad about wasting these beautiful bottles... would MC like them? He has one shaped like a rose, one like a star, one modeled after the cosmos... 

Asmo doesn't even get to finish because MC is already flapping their hands in joy (I'm autistic and MC is going to happy stim if it kills me) and wiggling and practically jumping into Asmo's arms in excitement

Asmo's laughing and promising to save all of his prettiest empty perfume bottles for MC from now on and MC is practically wiggling in joy and nuzzling their face into Asmo's chest in happiness

They’re talking about spending the night in Asmo’s room trying to make perfume blends for each other to fill up the bottles and tossing scent ideas back and forth

And Diavolo is sitting there feeling a bit like he's been bonked over the head. Those happy stims are ADORABLE and he wants to be the one who causes them. He's not sure why his perfume failed and Asmo's literal empty bottles worked but he's DETERMINED to try again

2. Fancy gemstones

Diavolo's next attempt is fancy gemstones. He finds large, beautifully cut and processed gemstones, the type that are so perfectly processed they look almost identical except for color

Again, when he gives MC his gifts he can tell that they're sincerely grateful! They tell him they love that he was thinking of them, they worry that he spent too much money on them ( they try to refuse at first because it's too much, but Diavolo breezes past their protests with a smile and an iron will) and Diavolo doesn't sense even the tiniest hint of untruth from their professions of gratitude

But.... there are no happy wiggles, no stunned gasps, no joyously flapping hands, no nothing. Just calm gratitude.

Diavolo goes back to the drawing board, and he's just going to visit the HOL library for inspiration in a rare book (and as an excuse to see MC) when he hears Satan and MC laughing together in the library.

When he walks in, he sees Satan and MC crouched together with some strange tools in their hands, gently chipping away at a large rock. There's a tiny pile of uncut, unprocessed gemstones at MC's elbow.

As soon as MC sees him, he's aflood in a wash of excited chatter as MC tells him about the gemstone mining kit Satan bought after reading a book on gemstones. In fact Diavolo can see the book open at Satan's elbow along with a notebook where the two have been identifying every gemstone they dig up.

Before he knows it, MC seizes his hand and he's drawn into the game, watching their eyes shine and seeing them bounce in their seat with excitement every time they uncover a new gemstone.

Dammit. Another failure. But, Diavolo finds as he watches MC's obvious joy, he can't be too frustrated when they're this happy. 

3. Shopping spree at Majolish

Diavolo is undeterred! He takes a day to bring them to Majolish, having them try on outfit after outfit. Sure, they're not picking out very many things, but he loves spending time with them and they say they're enjoying themself.

After several hours, Barbatos gently reminds him that he has a meeting soon and that MC seems absolutely exhausted.

Diavolo pouts, especially when he sees that MC hasn't picked out very many things, but he sighs and concedes.

When he drops them off at the HOL, MC gives him a hug and thanks him for helping them pick out some more formal outfits for any upcoming RAD events. Diavolo accepts the hug gladly, but there's no squeaking or jumping and DEFINITELY no flapping. MC seems rather exhausted, and Belphegor has appeared from nowhere and draped himself over MC and is mumbling about needing a nap buddy and MC isn't even trying to argue 

The next day, Barbatos shows him Levi's post on Devilgram. It's a video, of Levi giving MC a plain, unassuming box.

When MC opens the box, their mouth drops open, their eyes go wide, and they fling themselves at Levi, happily nuzzling into his chest and mumbling incoherent thanks while Levi turns bright red and starts stuttering and clearly tries not to combust

The video cuts out for a second and then starts again with MC wearing a simple shirt embroidered with a strange logo, which Levi explains from behind the camera is inspired by MC's favorite series and was handmade by Levi for practice. Levi was apparently asked to design formalwear inspired by anime, and he chose MC's favorite to practice a design. According to the caption, the two spent an entire day together watching the series and sketching ideas!

MC is beaming and happy stimming while Diavolo thumps his head into his desk dramatically and Barbatos elegantly stifles a chuckle behind him. 

4. Bouquets of flowers

Well now Diavolo is determined. HE WILL MAKE MC HAPPY STIM IF IT KILLS HIM

HE HAS HIS PRIDE AS THE FUTURE DEMON KING DAMMIT

He begins watching the corniest of romcoms for ideas.

Midway into one of them, he sees the character buy their love interest bouquets upon bouquets of roses

BRILLIANT! He's up and placing orders immediately. Barbatos stays behind for a few minutes to actually watch how this particular ploy works out on screen, before laughing and going to watch the chaos

As dedicated as he is to the young lord, watching Diavolo scramble around trying to impress his first puppy love only to fail because the target of his affections is simply too humble.... well, it's honestly adorable. He'll step in if it goes on for too long, but for now it might actually be good for the young master to experience something he can't have by throwing money or influence at it.

Diavolo has some of the Devildom's finest florists on the horn and he's sending a veritable flood of their finest cut flowers... AND he's sending them from an anonymous source, just like in the movie! The woman in the movie only sent over THREE bouquets to the object of her love, so Diavolo sends 300. Only the best for his MC :)

He's waiting impatiently for the results of his little scheme when he gets an apologetic text from Lucifer saying that he'll be late to the meeting and MC won't be coming at all. Some anonymous admirer sent MC an excessive amount of flowers and the sheer amount of pollen triggered allergies in ALL of the demon bros and MC.

Lucifer needed time to clear out the house and distribute allergy meds to everyone and buy out the nearest store on tissue paper

Barbatos is no longer even bothering to stifle his chuckles while Diavolo buries his face in his arms to hide his shame

To rub salt in the wound, Lucifer tells him a few days later that he set up a miniature greenhouse for MC to grow humanworld herbs in and they've barely left it in the last two days

Lucifer’s been spending most of his free time in the greenhouse with them, helping them tinker with humidity spells and listening to their excited monologues on human gardening techniques

Lucifer is definitely smirking as he tells Diavolo this and Diavolo doesn't bother to ask how Lucifer knew what was going on, because his old friend knows him too well and Diavolo realizes he's not exactly subtle.

What he doesn't realize is that Barbatos is also a dirty dirty snitch and he and Lucifer have been watching over his attempts with a mix of hilarity and pity

5. Desserts

Some might give up, but not Diavolo! His newest ideas is fancy desserts. He was told by a sweet old succubus that the best way to his lover's heart was through the stomach (actually she initially had some far raunchier suggestions that had made Diavolo blush and had given him some ideas for far, FAR in his future relationship with MC, but that's neither here nor there) and so here Diavolo is, placing a giant order at Madame Scream's to be delivered to the HOL.

This time he has learned from his mistakes and he signs it as being from him and addresses it to "MC and the residents of HOL" because even he recognizes there are far too many sweets for a human to eat before they go bad

Barbatos by this point is starting to feel pity and is almost tempted to suggest he wait until it's not Beel's day for Fangol practice to send a giant array of tempting sweets.

Almost. If it weren't for the maid cafe fiasco of last week Barbatos probably would have, but that lace had chafed in areas that should never be chafed.

Diavolo sent his gift only to receive a poorly drawn thank-you card drawn by Beel and signed by everyone at the HOL, including MC, even though "I didn't even get a chance to eat any, BEEL"

This poor man feels his soul leave his body, especially when he returns home from RAD to find Barbatos and MC baking together and singing along to Disney songs (well, MC was singing, Barbatos was simply watching them with a smile and occasionally twisting them into a simple dance to make them laugh and squiggle with joy)

Et tu, Barbatos?

After yesterday's glitter incident, Barbatos has no shame and simply smirks back. He'll help the young lord when he can shower without finding glitter in every crevice.

+1: Tea together

Diavolo is planning his next gift when he gets a message from MC, of all people

His heart flutters, he has butterflies in his stomach, and he hasn't even read it yet!

It's a simple text- "What are you up to?" 

Obviously Diavolo can't admit he's shirking paperwork to try and figure out a gift that would make them happy! So he improvises and claims he's working. He gets back a sad face emoji and a simple "Miss you! I feel like we haven't hung out in forever, but I know how busy you are. Good luck, I'm rooting for you!"

SHOT THROUGH THE HEART AND MC IS TO BLAME

This man is dramatically draped over his desk wailing about how cute MC is.

Luckily for him Barbatos has forgiven him for both the maid cafe incident and the glitter incident and Diavolo has been too distracted trying to plan gifts to cause any new chaos

Barbatos hands him a lovely picnic basket, complete with tea and fancy sandwiches, and tells him to go see MC and take a break since he's clearly not getting any work done as is.

Cue guilty glance to the overwhelming stack of paperwork that's been building up. He swears he's never seen Barbatos place more and yet they keep growing, are they breeding somehow...? Did Lucifer curse him after the taffy incident?

Either way, Diavolo takes the basket and heads off to HOL.

He's either very lucky or (more likely) Barbatos bribed Lucifer into helping him out, as MC is the one to answer the door.

They look kind of down until they see him and he explains he's there to spend time with them, and then they absolutely LIGHT UP.

Before he knows it, they've thrown himself into his arms and they're bouncing in excitement and snuggling him and happy flapping and boyo is confused but OVER THE MOON.

He finally did it!?!?! What was it!?!?! The picnic basket? Do they have a thing for picnics baskets!?!?! 

And then he actually tunes in a d listens to their flood of chatter and how happy they are to see him and how much they've missed him and how excited and grateful they are they he took time out of his busy schedule to spend time with him and out in the thought to prepare a way for them to spend time in each other's company...

O H

He is M E L T I N G

He can't believe it was this easy.... no need for fancy gifts or anything like that, just... paying attention to their likes and spending time with them???? 

Holy shit he is gonna protect this human's smile witH HIS LIFE 

And now that he understands them better he can buy EXPENSIVE SHIT THEY'LL ACTUALLY LIKE AND HE'LL GET ALL THE HAPPY SNUGGLES AND JOYOUS STIMMING IN THE WORLD!!!! 

Yes, he decides, wrapping his arms around them while trying to keep the basket level

Now that he's gotten a taste of their sincere joy, he's hooked and he's going to make them as excited and happy as this as often as he possibly can. 

[7arts]

Ride Home

My Hero Academia Vigilantes, Chapter 35

Quick piece for rest. Still trying out new techniques and I read somwehre to try tracing? So I tried to trace the line art instead of erasing the captions and uh, I think it turned out well enough considering I was on a trackpad? Also, I might be getting a bit better with the colors since I didn't have to color-correct this one AND the color was okay on my phone on the first try :> Had a hard time figuring out what the seats are supposed to be like, so I patterned them after bus seats even if they're on a train haha. Also, while I was doing final touch-ups, I only just realized that Koichi's outfit might be too inspired by a real life outfit I used to see everyday :P

[muwur]

snapchat headcanons

✧ hc’s ✧ for using snapchat w ur boi toi ft. the pretty setter squad

❧ gn reader

✎ 3.1k words

a/n: kinda a combo of how they use sc and the kinds of snaps they send you! along w wat u send them, and uh... dating stuf n shenanigans? texting/snapping habits? my fantasies? IDEK ANYMORE EOFHEFJ

this was born from the recesses of my mind , which desired nothing mor than snapchats from suga , us sending cute selfies , others bein dumb n chaotic , no context videos , n him snapping me photos of some mangoes on sale he said he’ll buy for me DXX it’s too late for me now

doing research on hq bois and surfing thru sc features (im just now realizing theres quite a bit?? im hoping i address most of them at some point lolol) instead of real life tings aHHhhhHAHA

requests: open! will be working on a suga one i got, dw, requester!

sugawara

✧ sends good morning and good night snaps

✧ so he’s rlly good at keeping streaks, probs has the longest ones (one of them being y’alls streak)

✧ posts tidbits of volleyball practice on his story every once in a while

✧ snaps you pics of his sleeping teammates when they’re coming back to school after a long day of matches , adding a single ‘❤️’ as a caption

✧ he will also create colorful masterpieces on all of them

✧ gives daichi a santa beard, tanaka a squiggly stache (i imagine it to look like spongebob n patrick’s seaweed ones now that were mEN), n kageyama sum angry brows,,, wait he already has them lolol u good der kags

✧ posts a picture of you when you’re hanging out, captioning it: “🥰“

✧ has conversations with you purely via snaps

✧ ranges from casual chats and checking up on u to crackwhoring ( ** indicates the photo, while the “” quotes indicate the caption, all snaps are italicized, otherwise its regular dialogue)

✧ suga: *peace sign* “hey sweetheart, how r u?”

✧ you: *pics of homework* “ahh, drowning in school ;-; i cant wait for this week to be over fghjkl”

✧ suga: *close up with :o on his face* “let’s study together tmrw!”

✧ or

✧ suga: *complete darkness* “its 3 am n i cant sleep”

✧ you: *the top half of your head, laying on a pillow* “ ;( aw babe. do u want me to send something to help u sleep?”

✧ suga: *still in darkness* “y u still up?? go sleep. n 🥺 yes pls”

✧ you: *snaps pics of feet* “that’ll be 50 bucks, pay up” 

✧ suga: *darkness remains* “can we make a trade instead? i promise to make it worth ;)”

✧ ok now u BOTH cant sleep (im sry my crackheading be acting up around 2am eeryday, i stan a mischievous suga--)

✧ video chats (in the darkness lol) instead until you both pass out (im not in luv u r 😭)

✧ super down to take filtered selfies w you

✧ does all the silly ones with you (things like ’angry face’ or the frog one)

✧ but also rlly digs lookin cute with you using some heart crowns, y’all an aesthetic (n crakhead) duo fosho

✧ def subscribes to life hacks and tries them out himself, has a 50% success rate

kageyama

✧ doesn’t rlly use snapchat too much

✧ but when he does

✧ will either send you a picture to indicate he’s at volleyball practice (wow wat a sexi lookin gym floor)

✧ or some random picture of whatever he’s doing at the moment (*drinking milk*)

✧ this is mostly in order to save streaks

✧ he’s so bad at streaks

✧ “why does it matter?? what’s the point of sending just black screens or whatever’s in front of you at the moment??”

✧ can’t keep a consistent streak for more than 3 days and also doesn’t care (until hinata challenges him to see who can have the longer one)

✧ when you send him videos of him playing, he really focuses on them to try to improve his technique. asks you to send those vids to him (assuming u saved them, which u did)

✧ but when you look over his shoulder when he’s watching a video and give him some compliment (“i recorded at the perfect moment! that was a really good set, kageyama!”), he gets a bit flustered

✧ gets even more flustered but pretty happy whenever you post videos on your story showing karasuno winning some points with captions like:

✧ “footage of the legendary quick >.>” or “karasuno crows flyin high!” or “these bois make my heart 😭 im so proud”

✧ you WILL catch him off guard in photos, using filters that surrounds his head w/ emojis like 🥺💖🥰💘

✧ you also put these on your story (to his dismay)

✧ ppl comment on these mor than anything else (n for those who dont rlly kno kageyama, theyre kinda surprised to him like this)

✧ hinata snickers “hey kageyama you look pretty good here--”

✧ takes some selfies with you, mostly cuz you want them

✧ saves them after u send them over (n secretly cherishes them)

✧ occasionally watches his subscriptions, they’ll usually involve sports, mostly volleyball (who woulda guessed)

✧ you use his bitmoji to test out random facial expressions you would never see him wear

✧ you: “can you smile and wink like this? act like you’re the obnoxious charming guy in a shojo.”

✧ will actually attempt, but it looks so bad that you die inside and he never wants to try again cuz of ur laughing outburst (you: “😭😭 bb im sorry i couldnt help it”)

oikawa

✧ literally sends you anything and everything

✧ morning bathroom selfie to show off how good his hair came out that day, saying:

✧ “he has risen”

✧ or “i woke up like this”

✧ and my favorite, “you’re lucky you get this content for frEE”

✧ selfies with iwa, who just looks annoyed and exasperated at the camera

✧ sends you pics of his lunch and snacks (“bet u wish u had milk bread too”)

✧ always packs extra milk bread so he could convince you to stay at his practice after school--

✧ FILTERSS

✧ I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENUF

✧ will either use the filters that make him kayooottt (cute)

✧ loves the ones named ‘hearts,’ ‘soft,’ ‘peach,’ ‘butterfly cheeks,’ vsco filters LOL, etc

✧ uses ‘big mouth’ when he feelin a bit sASSY; also loves to use this one when he rants, it channels his inner valley girl

✧ sometimes he’ll be snacking or drinking something while he does so (“hey guys today im gonna eat these milk buns from my favorite bakery and this bomb orange juice and complain about this little kid who talked smack to me earlier and almost made me cry--”)

✧ takes cute selfies with you, is an aesthetic selfie king, puts them on his story to show off he’s hangin with you

✧ but on your story you only post the ones he looks bad in LOL

✧ has separate stories for his every need, some r private (and lucky you, ur included in all of them)

✧ titles them ‘mean things iwa said to me today,’ ‘ranting hotbox + mukbangs,’ ‘a day in the life of oikawa,’ ‘volleyball 🏐,’ ‘unpopular opinions,’ etc. 

✧ fitting room photoshoots lol

✧ “y/n, what do you think of this??” “and this?” “oOH WHAT ABOUT THIS??”

✧ ends up calling you through video chat so you can live critique his choices

✧ “oikawa, please no, i can’t be seen with you in public if you wear those--”

✧ also changes his bitmoji’s outfits from time to time, hopes you’ll notice, but you don’t LOL (oikawa: ;((((((( )

kenma

✧ uses sc usually just to reply to messages ppl send him

✧ indifferent about streaks, but keeps a few with ppl he’s closer to

✧ mindlessly plays the snapchat games with you, finds some of them kinda cute

✧ you both made his bitmoji for him, dressing his up in the orange cat suit

✧ you also helped make kuroo’s and put his in the black cat suit to match--

✧ snaps you every time he gets a new game, starts playing it, and once he finishes

✧ started to post some gameplays and reviews on his sc story (might as well add them to sc since he was already on other social platforms), and ended up amassing a large following

✧ follows the tech and gaming stories on sc

✧ as well as the ones with cute animals--

✧ open to selfies with you, usually wears a calm expression and holds up a peace sign

✧ even occasionally sticks his tongue out

✧ his story is occasionally heavily bombarded with candids of him w/ pretty sc filters, all taken by you

✧ but of all the filters, you love using the clout glasses on him

✧ especially when he’s just minding his own business

✧ “kenma, in his tru habitat” when hes cocooned in a blanket

✧ “kenma, on his way to steal yo manz” while on his way to the bathroom

✧ “kenma, next iron chef. watch out gordon” as he’s cooking instant ramen

✧ “kenma” n das it

✧ but he thinks it meme-y so he lets you do whatever you want, kinda digs it

✧ you end up dedicating your snap story to memes of kenma and the nekoma volleyball team. ppl are in it for the shits n giggles n hot bois

✧ you later discover someone else did the same thing with their volleyball team filled with hot bois from shiratorizawa, and you befriend tendou and share funni internet tings

akaashi

✧ 99% of his photos include either you or bokuto or both

✧ bokuto spams akaashi’s story and contact list with selfies and videos of himself using weird filters, often gets you to join him

✧ has several streaks, but will send something with more substance than a black screen or his bedroom window

✧ will usually involve smthng that just happened to him or smthing he saw, like:

✧ “a kind older lady offered me some apples in return for helping her”

-or:

✧ “how do i break the news to bokuto that the yaikniku place he’s been wanting to go to for the past week ,,, is closed today”

✧ o n let’s not leave out:

✧ “is it possible to conjure a ghost using a wooden spatula, ketchup, and a chalk drawn hexagram? bokuto’s been paranoid ever since he tried last night and i dont know what to tell him. seriously, help”

✧ looks through stories occasionally, comments whenever bokuto makes questionable decisions

✧ also comments on whatever you’ve posted. his words range from “you’re cute” to “why,” depending on the content

✧ ppl know when y’all are hanging out cuz he’ll post smthing to indicate he’s with you, usually it’s some candid and you’re not paying attention

✧ appreciation posts for you as well! esp if you got him something, like onigiri or his fav, Nanohana no Karashiae , for lunch! (akaashi: *snaps a pic of his food* “thank you y/n for feeding me”)

✧ prefers video calling over texting/snapping whenever possible tho

✧ occasionally reminisces thru his sc memories

✧ enjoys the flashback feature and will send them to you and bokuto (cuz they’re about y’all anyway lolol)

✧ also has secretly saved a bunch of selfies of himself, consists of him trying out a lot of the filters (he feelin himself)

✧ you, one day, looking thru his phone and discovering them: “akaashi, you’re so pretty wtf”

✧ akaashi: “...”

koganegawa

✧ sends you selfies of him before practice

✧ during breaks

✧ and after practice, usually makes a comment about how it went for him that day like:

✧  “i hit a decent toss today and futakuchi actually complimented me!”

✧ that, or:

✧ “i got yelled at 17 times today 😢😩”

✧ has quite a few streaks, his longest ones being with you and hinata

✧ def uses filters

✧ tries out every funny one he finds and sends you videos

✧ “look y/n im an aaaaAALlliiEEENnnNNN oo oo hoo hhhooOOh”

✧ “now im a chicky nuggy!!” (chicken nugget)

✧ also enjoys the doodle feature

✧ but he uses the filter with the clout glasses unironically--

✧ usually when smth good happens to him and he feels happy and/or cool about it

✧ “just beat the boss in this game on my 69th try B)”

✧ “kogane, that’s--”

✧ plays sc games with you and thinks bitmojis r cool

✧ kinda sad he cant find a hair option that matches him tho lolol rip

✧ you: “you hair’s just,,, unique,,,”

✧ subscribed to anything sports and fitness, as well as pop culture so he can stay in the loop

✧ also watches everyone else’s stories, pointing out whenever he sees smthing cool and/or interesting

✧ “woahh, karasuno’s at nationals right now! i wish we could’ve won, but next year for sure!!”

✧ you encourage him at all his games, hyping him up irl and online

✧ “koganegawa: best setter 😍!!”

✧ luckily you didnt record the parts he completely messed up LOL

semi

✧ before going out with you, snaps you a pic of his casual outfit like:

✧ semi: “does this look ok”

✧ you: “babe you look great, tendou was just messing with you”

✧ will make unwanted appearances on tendou’s snap and complains to you about them

✧ “i didnt consent to being part of his meme page” and

✧ “okay, but he didn’t only have to share all the moments i messed up--”

✧ also indifferent about streaks but will do them

✧ sometimes sends snaps/streaks indicating he’s practicing his music

✧ when you see these you usually ask him to send you vids or if you can come over n watch

✧ initially is a bit shy about it but he loves what he does and you and knows you’re genuinely interested and supportive so he agrees

✧ secretly rlly enjoys having you as his personal audience

✧ lowkey into asmr, like the soap cutting shit as well as chewing crunchy things

✧ also watches food porn and clips of mukbangs, then can’t resist going on youtube and watching the whole thing

✧  “y/n, can we try this, it looks so good--”

✧ will also often watch oikawa’s stories, especially his ‘ranting hotbox + mukbangs,’ and makes comments about him being an idiot

✧  “this kid he’s talking about is a savage”

✧ but admits they’re quite entertaining

✧ just looks serious in all the selfies you take with him

✧ you: “can you look like you’re enjoying yourself?”

✧ semi: “i look cooler like this tho”

✧ sc memories filled with shenanigans from you and the volleyball team, doodles, and mirror selfies with him experimenting diff looks (you: “tendou, you got him way too concerned about this”)

✧ also enjoys showing off he’s with you, taking a short video of you when you hang out

✧ you: “semi, i look bad right now”

✧ semi: “but you can never look bad”

✧ you: “🥺 bb”

✧ viewers: “aw”

✧ shiratorizawa: “can he be this nice with us LOL”

shirabu

✧ his main mode of communication with you is mostly through the regular messaging app, so he doesn’t use sc too much

✧ also doesn’t care for streaks and is bad at keeping them

✧ will answer to you or his senpais rather soon tho

✧ but lets all his other notifications pile up a bit before finally going thru them

✧ goes through the snaps he receives really fast, spending like 2 seconds each to look at them cuz aint nobody got time for dat

✧ doesn’t even rlly open goshiki’s LOL

✧ you have fun using filters on him and taking videos while he’s just doing his own thing peacefully like studying

✧ it takes him a second to notice and when he finally looks up, he just gives you an exasperated look

✧ cue you cracking up with laughter bc the filter finally shows up on his face

✧ his eyes and mouth are now on mike wazowski

✧ that, or his face becomes so disturbingly moRPhed like an alien

✧ caption: “ken-chan, my future medical man 😍”

✧ “y/n, please, this is like the 7th time in the last 20 minutes--”

✧ finally convinced him to take a study break and hang out with you

✧ which usually consists of snacking and light banter while you lay your head on his lap

✧ and scrolling through snapchat stories and showing him what everyone else is up to and cool things you’re subscribed to

✧ “loooook, dr. miami’s doing another butt job! is this the line of work you’re studying so hard for?”

✧ “no, it’s really not”

✧ is actually very soft with you and likes having the photos and vids for memories

atsumu

✧ sends you snaps where his brother looks bad, captioning it:

✧ “this is evidence that im the hotter twin”

✧ likewise, osamu sends you snaps where atsumu looks even worse

✧ like, the mans passed out, looking rekt and open mouthed, drool seeping into his pillow

✧ osamu: “u still have time to break up with him”

✧ also lucky for you, atsumu also loves to take unflattering photos of you and send them to you randomly at like 2 am

✧ you: “nani tf when did you even take this??”

✧ usually posts a snap while he’s out somewhere like at a match, the gym, outside on a run, a party, or just hanging out with you or his frens

✧ however, makes sure you look good if you show up on his story cuz he wants to show you off

✧ doesn’t really care for streaks, but has a lott

✧ but also has a tON of unopened snaps

✧ is the type to send just a black screen n call it a day, or maybe spice it up by sending a pic of the sexi gym floor (a comeback) w his shoe in the corner

✧ will, however, consistently respond to you and kinda looks forward to ur snaps (secretly hopes you show ur face)

✧ but when you dont:

*in class*

✧ atsumu: *a smirk on his face* “your content’s kinda dry today” 

✧ you: *your sexi desk* “my nudez ain’t free, i demand compensation”

✧ atsumu: *grasped his chin in thought, but angled the cam up bc he needa hide his phone in class lolol* “what if i... take you out on a romantic excursion”

✧ you: * your face but with ‘sausage’ filter* “🥵🥵🥵🥵 yessir, what u want”

✧ rlly only wants to have pics of your face wat a closeted sOFTIE

✧ likes to have content on his flashbacks

✧ usually has other social media sources to keep up to date with things

✧ actually rlly digs using sc filters, mostly ones that’ll make him look like a queen

✧ captions a selfie of you two like: “me >>>>>>> y/n”

✧ but nearly everyone who comments on it is like: “i think you flipped the sign, bro 🤥”

✧ judges ppl who are into soap cutting asmr (you will never hear the end of it if you also like it)

a/n: sc kinda dying for me, my use went from suga to an atsumu to like nearly nonexistent LOL

also o gawd i already have ideas here n there for a pt 2 so stay tuned fjxnwfesd hope it takes me less long cuz this one took me fkin foreva LOL

idk y i made semi like mukbangs but i feel like he’d be rlly into them--

[nutty1005]

How “The Untamed” reversed its fate, Xiao Zhan went the hard way in his depiction of Wei Wuxian

Original Article: https://www.weibo.com/ttarticle/p/show?id=2309404476523863212216#_0 Original Author: 乍暖已寒 (Published by: 爱战DAYTOY_1005)

(TN: The Untamed was based off the novel “Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation” or “Mo Dao Zu Shi / 魔道祖师”. Bringing this novel to the silver screen had its fair share of troubles and many did not look kindly at this project in 2018, nor believed that it would fair well in China.)

I have said this before – when a new top celebrity with stunning good looks appears onto the scene, immediately accompanying it will be forceful criticisms of his/her acting. Xiao Zhan, who burst into fame because of The Untamed, is no exception to this as well.

Endless negative articles, out-of-context screen snaps with negative captions (e.g. the first 3 episodes where he had to act as Mo Xuanyu, a lunatic), slowed down GIFs, or even insinuating special effects… they really tried their best to smear his acting.

Just this once though, Xiao Zhan prevailed despite all of these. The endless waves of well-prepared negative articles did not prevent Xiao Zhan’s acting chops from appearing on Weibo’s trending topics  (instead of his appearance). His unforeseen, exceptional performance in The Untamed proved them wrong – such a great refute to their efforts!

Xiao Zhan’s Exceptional Moments

He had multiple different ways in handling his crying scenes, and they were all able to invoke a lot empathy in his audiences. There were tears of helplessness, tears of doubt, tears of pain, tears of false bravado, tears like that of a lost child – and every teardrop touched his audiences’ hearts.

This scene was my personal favorite – it was as painful as it was beautiful. Besides grief and hopelessness, you could also sense Wei Wuxian’s helplessness, and it became extra heartbreaking. Yes, many would always forget that beneath the all powerful Yiling Patriarch, he was merely a teenage boy, and he had just lost his home. 

Besides his crying scenes, Xiao Zhan also had similar delicacy and accuracy in managing the character’s psychology – for example, the scene which Wei Wuxian discovers the method to transfer the Golden Core. At the moment of discovery, he was filled with exultation, but the joy in his eyes slowly dimmed down, ending with relief. There was this sliver of sadness amidst the jubilation but it was quietly set aside.

Xiao Zhan used his “eyes acting” to great effect, and performed the series of complex emotions perfectly – from the discovery of a cure, to understanding that someone has to sacrifice his Golden Core, to deciding that he would be this person. This made the audiences want to ask, “What about you? What is going to happen to you?”

I also admired Xiao Zhan’s attention to details in the scene where Wei Wuxian brings Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli to Yiling Supervisory Hold – he was like a helpless prey trapped at a dead end.

Wei Wuxian was just an child when his family perished, and he had just went through another massacre – there was simply too much death and bloodshed. He was high strung and any bit of provocation could make him lose his rationality. He was instinctively biting his teeth and shaking as he forced himself to protect his only remaining kin.

In fact, after leaving behind the first 10 episodes of happy-go-lucky, Xiao Zhan had countless exceptional moments such as these. I could not even finish describing 10% of them in this long article of mine. For someone who was the lead actor for the first time, his future is really filled with endless possibilities.

As such, I could not even fathom why someone would blindly mock Xiao Zhan’s acting, even more so than when someone mocks his appearance. For someone who could weep while script reading with his fellow actors, how could he be someone with “zero acting chops”?

“Empathic” Style of Performance

The most apt words I can use to describe Xiao Zhan’s acting are “graceful” and “touching” – there appears to be no discourse to his acting, but yet his acting draws empathy and his characterization extremely believable.

To an actor, this is a solution, but this is one of the dumbest method as this is also one of the most harmful method. This is because this method requires the actor to breakdown his personality and restructure himself to suit his character. It makes entering and exiting the role extra difficult – every teardrop is created from the actor’s blood and soul.

To me, I am an extremely sensitive viewer and I like the acting to be natural; I cannot accept any bit of deliberation. I do not like it when performance leaves a trace of the techniques used, instead this “dumb” method is what that can touch me – to become one with the character.

This is probably why this silly child could weep like this during script reading. He might really be a natural born actor, but also a gentle angel – what kind of soul resides in him? How is he able to empathize entirely with Wei Wuxian such that he could tear up like this? Who would not love this boy, who is naturally extraordinary, but yet also incredibly compassionate?

He Understands Wei Wuxian

And because he understood the true meaning behind “becoming Wei Wuxian”, so he understood him even in the smallest details.

Have you ever wondered how Wei Wuxian was like beneath the manically cool Yiling Patriarch and suave youngster?

Firstly, he was an insecure person.

Below is from the author’s Weibo:

His childhood as a stray set the tone for him as person who is always filled with uncertainties – he will subconsciously attempt to change his facade in order to please his loved ones.

And it is evident that Xiao Zhan understands this – you can see that Wei Wuxian has a different facade when dealing with different people. To Jiang Cheng, he is his best buddy; To Nie Huaisang, he tries to be the friend who leads him astray; To Jiang Yanli, he is unashamedly a child begging for praises; To Madam Jiang, he is the most proper and obedient student.

In fact, this scene of an obedient Wei Wuxian gave me more affirmation that Xiao Zhan knows Wei Wuxian, more than any of his crying scenes. (Madam Jiang appeared, and he was the first person who stood up, in apprehension.)

Secondly, he puts up a false front.

Before the broadcast of the drama, Xiao Zhan gave an interview which caused displeasure among part of the novel fans. He said “Too many crying scenes, Wei Wuxian cried too much.” Some of these agitated fans expressed that Wei Wuxian was actually a cheerful happy-go-lucky person, he does not like to cry – he only cried twice in the books, Xiao Zhan must not understand his character!

However, is that really so? Evidently not. The novel was written from Wei Wuxian’s angle, therefore the story was told to us by Wei Wuxian, and hence we are actually reading his version of the story.

When you think about it, how is it possible for Wei Wuxian to not be devastated at the massacre of Jiang Family, the death of his brother-in-law due to his misstep, the death of Jiang Yanli, who took the sword on his behalf, or his own death, where he despaired and allowed himself to be devoured by ghosts? It is definitely not possible, but why were these not described in the books? Because, Wei Wuxian, who liked to put on a false front, decided to sidestep these in his own version.

Yes, our Wei Wuxian was the sort of person who only spoke of the good, but never the bad. No matter how much trauma he suffered physically or mentally, he kept smiling and kept his false front. He always looked like nothing mattered to him and he never suffered.

Hence, when he was battered and wounded by the demonic dog in the drama, despite being covered in wounds, after he took a bite of the bun he got from Jiang Cheng, he smiled brilliantly and said “delicious”. This part made me cry for him – I felt so much for this stubborn child.

Below is why, I was sure from the beginning that Xiao Zhan would do a good portrayal of Wei Wuxian. He told Wei Wuxian at the end of The Untamed shooting to “cherish yourself more, stop putting on a false front”. 

He really knew him. He really felt for him.

He came from a boyband, he had no professional acting training, he did not even have much experience in acting, but he lived up to Wei Wuxian.

In the End

Finally I wanted to say, analyzing anyone’s acting using static pictures, GIFs or even short video clips, without script or character context, are all biased analysis. True performance is not pieced together by short clips, but by complete characterization. As such, perhaps my article may just be as truthful as those gossip articles online. You are welcomed to watch The Untamed in order to truly understand how Xiao Zhan did.

[hecohansen31]

The Time Of Our Life

Alex Hogh Andersen+Dancer! Reader

(A/N): Hello there, lovelies!

This is an extra fic, for a special occasion!

It is also my first time writing Alex Hogh Andersen stuff, so please let me know what you think about it and where I should do better, where I can do better... I just... hope you’ll like it!

As always: feedback is extremely helpful, us writers basically feed off it, alongside coffee and creativity so if you want to leave a comment, an heart, or reblog, I’ll be overjoyed.

They made my heart flutter and writer faster!

Hope you’ll like it!

Have a nice reading!

WARNINGS: Slight Angst, Worries of Unrequited Love, Mention of Dirty Dancing, Insecurity.

(Beautiful Moodboard Made by @flowers-in-your-hayr​​, be sure to check her out!)

Life as a professional dancer wasn’t easy, mostly if you wanted to become famous.

You had chosen to try to move your career in the movies sector, through being a back up dancer for awful TV shows or awful movies.

But getting a role in something bigger was so difficult that you were honestly losing your hope to ever find one.

In the meanwhile, you had started giving lessons at various dance studios to get through each month.

And lately you had found yourself honestly thinking about settling down in that job, since you didn’t mind it, although the paycheck wasn’t certainly comprehensive of all the work you did at the studio.

Hence you had decided to try out lady Luck one last time, and proposed yourself for a role: in case it didn’t work, you’d stop your search for success and just settle in something else, to make enough money to allow you to support yourself and that wouldn’t butcher your feet each day.

You weren’t very positive, because the project you had proposed yourself was actually pretty big: a modern version of ‘Dirty Dancing’ for cable TV, that would be seen all over the country and outside of it, it if got famous.

You weren’t supposed to play ‘Baby’ but her friend, that would have a dorky relationship with a friend of Johnny, being the comic relief of the entire musical.

You weren’t positive, but you had given your best in the audition and desperately loved the entire concept of the movie, since it was one of the first that you had watched, and it was definitely the one that had instilled your passion for dance.

So, you rushed to answer the call, seeing that it was your manager, as you moved to sat impatiently on your sofa, trying to calm yourself at the possibility of another rejection.

“… (Y/N) …” your managed voice didn’t seem so hopeful and you already could hear the following part of her discourse but then her tone picked up as she rushed in saying “… you got the freaking role, babygirl!”.

You had been incredibly excited, screaming like a teenage girl as you jumped up and down on your sofa, crying out loud, as your manager gave you all the details about your character.

And soon you had to move on the set of the movie, but before, you’d have to set up practicing with your partner, who you had discovered would be Alex Hogh Andersen.

A name that hadn’t said much to you, till you had googled him up discovering that he was Ivar from ‘Vikings’, a character that you hadn’t liked in the slightest when you had started watching the show.

To you, he was a rather psychotic kid.

And you had definitely no clue that he had grown into such a beautiful boy.

You had grown distant from ‘Vikings’, after you had started it a few years ago, so you hadn’t kept in track with it, but you certainly approved the casting choice, definitely excited by the fact that you’d have to dance together with him.

Through some ‘subtle researches’ you had discovered that other than playing an amazing role in ‘Vikings’ he seemed a pretty cool guy, social and interested in photography, something that you didn’t know much about, but he made it seem so so interesting, through his cute captions and dorky behavior.

You had to admit that before even meeting him you had already fallen in love with him.

Hence, on your first meeting, at the dance studios the production had rented to make you rehearse, you had been nervous like hell, constantly brushing your hands against your leggings, worried they’d be too sweaty for him.

And you wanted to make a good impression.

Hence you had spent gladly a few extra dollars on those see-through leggings you saw everywhere and chosen a shirt that wouldn’t have anything embarrassing said on it, eventually settling up for a black assemble that made you seem professional, but also cheeky.

Not that a guy as pretty as Alex would notice it.

You were honestly still surprised he hadn’t a girlfriend, since he seemed the best guy you had come across in a long time.

But maybe he was an asshole or…

… an arrogant prick…

… that was the only reason why he honestly was still single.

His personality must have been the worst.

And you were thinking this when you heard a male voice calling your name, and as you turned you saw that it was indeed Alex, almost as if he had been conjured by your own thoughts.

And you found yourself almost stuck on the ground, where you had sat down to calm yourself, till he was in front of you and you were already checking your sweaty hands, for the handshake, but he went a step further and straight up hugged you, making you yelp lightly at the contact.

And there you found out that he smelled divinely, something like expensive perfume mixed with a tint of smoke, as you felt the strength of his body, trying not to fangirl.

You very awkwardly hugged him back, mumbling a screeching ‘Hi’.

“It’s absolutely nice to meet you!” he said gingerly, as he ended the hug moving back to look at you “… I hope I am not late, the jetlag still has some kind of hold on me…”.

“No no, don’t worry! I am (Y/N)” Gosh could you have said something more stupid? “… I am a big fan of ‘Vikings’ “.

Oh, you could have definitely said something more idiotic.

But he didn’t seem to take it personally, lightly blushing as he thanked you for his words, and you had just to embarrass yourself further.

“… I also love your photography, I am not an expert, but…”.

“I do appreciate it truly, and if you do end up teaching me how to dance, I could teach you all about photography” he promised you, a light twinkle of interest in his eyes.

“Oh, c’mon you aren’t so bad at dancing!” and you realized how stalkerish your comment had sounded and proceeded to add “… I have seen your insta…”.

“Yeah I like being dorky” he mumbled softly, completely unfazed by the fact that you had stalked him “… and I honestly am afraid to do all of this”.

A light blush appeared on his face, showing you that although he had acted all tough and adorably, he certainly had a more insecure side, and you, a dancer, totally understood it, softly suggesting that he just showed you ‘a few of his moves’, getting a light raise of eyebrows from him, but eventually he did.

And although you’d have to work on his style, you couldn’t help but smirk lightly at the notion that he certainly enjoyed dancing, and it showed, something that many people, even professional dancers didn’t own.

Alongside a general positive vibe to him that you absolutely loved.

“… I do think that we can get something out of you” you had then smirked softly, as you had introduced him to the swing of the 60s, trying not to mind too much fact to the way his body felt onto yours, as you taught him the basilar steps.

In the end, all your worries disappeared, because Alex seemed the guy of the photos, and much more.

The more you met, the more you discovered new sides of him, such as the one that would bring his camera over to try to teach you what was interesting about photography, shooting a few sneaky pictures of you as you tried out the moves on your own, seeing what would work and what wouldn’t.

And the one he’d have when he’d met a few of his fans and would be the absolute sweetest at them, no matter how annoying or clingy they were, as he blushed for the entire time, with a shyness that the didn’t let on behind the camera.

And the one that’d constantly make fun of you, softly, and then compliment you on your technique as he watched you completely amazed by the way you’d move so gracefully, dosing you with so much praise that you weren’t in the slightest used to receive.

And you’d blush a lot around him.

He was honestly a nice guy and it was impossible not to fall in love with him.

Although you were well aware you didn’t stand a chance.

You were an unknown dancer who had been lucky enough to land a role, whereas he was the most gorgeous boy you had ever seen, with an established career and a great ability with photography.

But sometimes, during tryouts, he’d just hold you closer than he should have and spun you around with the sweetest of smiles, the one you felt like he had only for you.

And no one else.

But he had always kept it very clear that you were simply good coworkers and friends, something for which you were already too grateful.

You learned the routine, together, rather quickly and were lucky enough to have such a good chemistry that you acted perfectly like the awkward lovers you had to play in the movie, enough that you heard a few people from the productions complaining about the main actors, since they didn’t get on as well as you and Alex did.

And when you had to promote the movie, you were the production go-to, since you were both rather young and easy on the eyes, and again…

… the complicity between you two was palpable.

Which was a boost for your career, since you had already started receiving a few offers before the movie even dropped.

And as much as you felt awkward answering questions about your life, Alex, again made the entire atmosphere more comfortable, joking around and making you feel at ease, almost as if you were hosting a party among friends and not journalists.

And then it had happened.

The fateful question.

‘Are you together?’ giggled a blonde journalist ‘… because we couldn’t help but notice the amazing chemistry between you and it just…’.

And you couldn’t help but blush, before stammering out a small ‘no’, sure that Alex would agree with you, but you couldn’t help but catch a light expression of disappointment appear on his face, as you raised your head to meet his face.

Almost as if he hadn’t expected such a direct rejection.

And you low key couldn’t understand whether it was just your eyes not working or you had caught some secret part of his heart.

Something that Alex hadn’t told you.

You tried to confront him softly, after the interview but he just told you that he was busy and run away, and again you were left doubting whether your fangirl dream had come true or you had started having delusional hallucination.

Either way, it didn’t stop you from trying to analyze your entire ‘relationship’ with Alex: he was certainly quite touchy, maybe more than it was appropriate between two friends, but you couldn’t exactly blame him when you were constantly all over him during your dancing routines.

And sometimes not simply accidentally.

You had also to admit that you definitely had chemistry, but at the same time you felt like it’d be bad to assume that just because you had that, you’d have to be more than simply friends.

And the fact that Alex didn’t hang out with you anymore after the interview honestly put your mind at unease, worried that you had done something wrong.

He wouldn’t talk with you, except for texting, justifying his absence with the fact that he was ‘extremely busy’.

And in the end the only time you saw him was at the premiere of the movie.

You arrived on your own, something that definitely made you uncomfortable, unsure of how to properly act without Alex trying to calm you and distract you from the attention of photographers, who screamed at you how to pose.

And you were more than happy to be led away by a fellow back up dancer, who started chatting with you and more importantly pushing glasses of champagne in your hands.

But right when you were all supposed to enter the cinema, you felt an hand pushing itself on your shoulder and almost on your own you couldn’t help but turn around with the biggest smile, as you came face to face with Alex.

But he looked almost… shy.

Which was unusual for him, although you were relieved when he hugged you tight to greet you.

“Hey, handsome, where did you hide?” you mumbled tightly as he just shrugged his shoulders.

“… ahem, I just… had some things to figure out” he replied tightly “… I am sorry for acting like an asshole”.

“You are the one who said it” you teased him “… you can make it up to me with a good hamburger, once we get out of this entire thing”.

“You got it, my lady” his voice wasn’t in the slightest as amused as it usually was when you teased him, and you couldn’t help but feel deep down in your guts that something wasn’t wrong.

Something wasn’t the same anymore.

And simply smiled at him, before moving to get in the cinema, but again Alex stopped you gripping gently your hand.

“About the hamburger… can we take McDonalds and go to my place, to talk a bit? I have something to tell you”.

It was probably ‘fucking leave me alone, you psycho’ talk.

So, although you tried your best to enjoy your great moment, you couldn’t focus on it, till you suddenly felt Alex reach out for your hand, almost as if he understood your distress, and although you were still nervous, you were able to calm a bit.

And his hand kept on being in yours.

Even when you sneaked away from the premiere, to seriously get your McDonalds, as you moved to his apartment.

A strange and awkward intimacy downed upon you, both, as Alex went to get some plates for you, meanwhile you tried to calm yourself, drying your sweaty hands on your designer rented dress.

You were truly grateful that Alex came back with an enormous hoodie of his to allow you to avoid having to renounce eating this month to pay the dress you had been wearing at the premiere.

And still you blushed when he told you ‘it was a shame that you wouldn’t be wearing it anymore, it honestly looked so good on you…’.

“… I just think that you’d be the sexiest, eating a greasy hamburger in a Dior dress”.

And you had blushed, hard, able to simply flip him off, as you moved to change in the bathroom.

And you were glad that although the awkwardness kept on being awfully present, you were able to chat as two friends, as Alex threw fries at you, after you mentioned how dorky he looked in the final cut of the movie.

‘It isn’t fair!’ he tried to reply harshly ‘…when you look half the time as a goddess!’.

And you had blushed even redder.

But what had been even more embarrassing was what followed as you saw that Alex wasn’t meeting your gaze, and you were aware this was the time that he’d kick you out, for ever.

He had been nice with you, just to sweeten the entire thing.

“I am sorry for having ignored these days, I just…” he gently ruffled his hair, making you sink your “… I had things to figure out”.

“Ahhh don’t worry, I just… I just hope that I wasn’t annoying…” you tried to excuse yourself, getting an immediate reaction by Alex, who looked at you with those beautiful blue eyes, almost as if he didn’t understand why you would think he felt that way, before he shook his head.

“Hey, hey, sweetheart, it wasn’t you…” he immediately comforted you, his hand reaching out for your face to make you look at him in the eyes “… I just…”.

“I am sorry if I seemed to want something more than a friendship” you rushed softly out, almost choking on the words, meanwhile Alex just looked at you shocked “… I swear that I never intended to rupture the boundaries”.

“I don’t want to be your friend” surprised you Alex, before a slight blush appeared also on his cheeks, and the breath completely got out of your lungs.

Perfect.

Now that the truth was out there, you could get yourself out there on your own, and drown yourself in tequila…

“… oh then…” and you made to turn, but he reached out for your hand and made you turn almost abruptly towards him.

“I want to be something more” he breathed right on your lips and before you knew it, his lips were right on yours, kissing you with a fierceness that made you lightheaded, hence you had to lightly lean against the chair behind you.

And Alex immediately recognized that something was wrong, pushing himself back as he shot you a worried look, before again moving his stare to his shoes.

“I am sorry” he mumbled tightly “…I just… Gosh I fucking ruined everything!”.

And he made to turn around, but this time you were the one who stopped him.

“… what if I… don’t want to be your friend, either?” you mumbled, rushing through the words, both for the lack of air from the kiss and for the embarrassment on your cheeks “… because I don’t think that friends are supposed to kiss each other, but I want to kiss you so so bad again”.

He seemed shocked, but slowly his face turned in a soft surprise, before he rushed to you again, kissing you but with much more softness and tenderness, no fear of rejection in this kiss, and again you felt lightheaded, but this time it was damnably pleasurable, and soon allowed Alex to deepen the kiss.

And he gently pushed a reverent hand on your face, caressing the skin there, as you were more than happy to ruffle the perfect volume of his soft hair, definitely the softest you had ever touched.

And you both kept kissing each other, one after the other, as you tried to make up for the lost time.

But soon, you’d have to talk it out.

You knew it.

And you almost moaned in pain at being harshly pushed away, looking at him with pleading eyes, as he giggled softly, biting his lips.

“Don’t worry sweetie, I have no intention of putting baby in a corner”.

---

This is a special gift for @alexhandersenx​ !

[sarahd1359]

Readerly Exploration 4

Due Date: February 22nd

Titles:

(1) Seven Rules of Engagement: What’s Most Important to Know About Motivation to Read

(2) Tompkins’ Ch. 10 “Organizing for Instruction”

Big Take-Away:

(1) Students are more motivated to read when they have lots of varied opportunities for engaging with the text in meaningful, relevant ways.

(2) Implementing any effective literacy program requires intentionally following the reading or writing process, but it can look slightly different from genre to genre.

Nugget:

(1) “Success with challenging reading tasks provides students with evidence of accomplishment, resulting in increased feelings of competence and increased motivation.”

(2) “The selections [in basal readers] in the kindergarten and first-grade textbooks contain decodable text so that children can apply the phonics skills they’re learning, but as students develop stronger word-identification skills and a bank of familiar high-frequency words, textbooks transition to literature selections that were originally published as trade books” (pg. 326-327).

Readerly Habit:

Take yourself on a field trip to a place off campus that connects with the big ideas of your assigned reading(s).

Exploration:

Chapter 10 was interesting to me after hearing so much about the reading and writing processes in class the last couple of days because it showed that the process looked different for each type of literacy program and genre of literature. The idea of following the same format but also personalizing something felt very poetic and artistic, and I knew it felt familiar but I couldn’t quite place how. Then, it hit me that it was like a one-of-a-kind painting that isn’t actually one of a kind. In other words, the painter does not simply sell prints; they sell originals, but several copies may look extremely similar, depicting exactly the same scene. The little details like the thickness of the paint in certain spots of the canvas or the details in the brush strokes may vary painting to painting. The painters apply the same ideas and framework to each painting, but the colors may not mix exactly the same or the angles of the strokes may be different, creating a slightly different feel.

I would have gone to an art show or market, but, since that is not allowed this semester, I took myself on a virtual field trip to art museums and galleries. At the Louvre, I was able to see famous paintings that many people have since tried to recreate. The general idea of these paintings is the same as the original, since the recent painters have used the original as a framework, but the styles and techniques vary. At the artspan art marketplace, I viewed smaller artists’ original art, thinking about how the artists recreate the same picture from time to time, creating largely the same painting but with minor changes. The second virtual field trip related to my initial thought process very clearly, but the Louvre trip made me think about the reading and writing processes in an even clearer way. The original framework is a guide that inspires new applications in different styles and with different techniques.

https://www.artspan.com/

https://www.louvre.fr/en/visites-en-ligne

Caption:

Use these links to explore pieces of art that have inspired many more renditions.

[joealwyndaily]

Sometimes the best Christmas presents are the ones we don’t think we need; a new Christmas Carol, for instance. Indeed it may be indicative of a certain unappreciated vacancy around the Christmas tree that in discussing the BBC’s new version of the Dickens classic both its director and leading man refer back to The Muppet Christmas Carol made way back in 1992.

“I was sent the script,” admits Nick Murphy, best known for directing the Rebecca Hall ghost movie The Awakening, “and my first thought was, ‘For God’s sake! The Muppets! They nailed it. What’s the point?’ ”

Joe Alwyn, who plays Scrooge’s clerk Bob Cratchit in the BBC three-parter, has meanwhile posted a trailer on Instagram with the caption: “Hard to fill the shoes once worn by Kermit. But I tried.” The self-deprecation was quickly “hearted” by the singer Taylor Swift, who is the actor’s girlfriend and who will be watching the mini-series with Alwyn and his family in London in the final days before Christmas.

There is nothing wrong, of course, with The Muppet Christmas Carol. It is probably in most people’s top three adaptations of Dickens’s masterpiece (alongside, I would say, Alastair Sim’s 1951 version and Scrooged). Its endurance does suggest, however, that it may be time someone did something a bit more serious, a little darker and a touch more grown-up with a tale that excoriated Victorian neglect and associated Christmas with the relief of poverty for ever more.

And this is exactly what Nick Murphy has achieved with a bracingly fresh script by the Peaky Blinders creator Steven Knight. Guy Pearce’s Ebenezer Scrooge is still a “squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous old sinner”, but since Pearce is only 52, there is rather less of the old. At the end of the novel, Dickens wrote that “ever afterwards” — that is after Scrooge’s Very Bad Night — “it was always said of him that he knew how to keep Christmas well”. That is rather more of an achievement when, as in this version, you may have 40 Christmases, rather than a couple, left to you.

Equally remade is Cratchit, who in Alwyn’s incarnation is far from the bashfully gulping frog thanking his master for granting him Christmas Day off before scampering back to Miss Piggy’s fleshy arms. Although Alwyn grew a rough beard for the part, his is also the best-looking Bob Cratchit you have seen. As the actor and I talk at the Picturehouse Central cinema in London, I find him as mesmerising off screen as on.

“Bob is trapped by Scrooge,” Alwyn says. “He’s abused by him. He’s not treated fairly. He’s there only because he has to be. He’s treated like shit.”

I’d say there’s a definite feeling in their shared scenes that Bob might just snap and hit Ebenezer over the head with a poker. “That was the intention. He’s at breaking point. He’s pushed right to his limits and Scrooge, I think, relishes winding him up. All Bob can do is hold his ground and fight back as much as he can — but he isn’t such a sap in this version.”

Scrooge and Cratchit’s relationship so much resembles an unhappy marriage that the niggling, bitter exchanges invented by Knight, with very little reference to Dickens’s dialogue, resemble Steptoe and Son rewritten by Strindberg. The easy contrast would have been with the Cratchits’ poor but happy marriage, but this too comes under scrutiny. There is an acknowledgment of the challenges a disabled child can bring to a household, and it is somehow emphasised by Tiny Tim being played by Lenny Rush, an extraordinary young actor, aged ten, who has a rare form of dwarfism called spondyloepiphyseal dysplasia congenita, the same condition as Warwick Davis.

“It really mattered to me that nobody was photo-fit,” Murphy says from a studio where he is dubbing the last episode. “Bob Cratchit is always a winsome, put-upon nice guy and the Cratchits themselves represent this idea of an ideal, working-class, lovely family. So we looked into their relationship on the page and there seems a genuine tension between Bob and his wife. Things are hard. It isn’t easy to have no money and a disabled child, and they lean on each other and they’re not straight with each other and there is a genuine antagonism between them.”

Knight has written into the narrative a family secret that connects the Cratchits to Scrooge. The secret belongs to Mrs Cratchit, played by Vinette Robinson, whose part is greatly expanded; indeed, the novella does not even grant her a first name, although the Muppets, and other adaptors, opted for Emily.

“Inevitably the secret begins to surface and cracks appear in the family,” Alwyn says. “Something has to happen. I think what Steven has done is take the story and drill deeper. He hasn’t taken too much liberty. It’s not bending the truth too much from what Dickens would have wanted. Or I hope not.”

Murphy insists that worthwhile adaptations of classic texts should be “edgy” and have “a good bite to them”. “If you absolutely don’t want any variation from the book then I strongly suggest you sit in a corner at Christmas and read it again. But if you want to see it used as a prism through which we can see a broader and slightly different subject explored, then this one’s for you.”

Alwyn’s performance is part of the iconoclasm. “Joe’s instinct as an actor is always to push away from the obvious and into ambiguity,” Murphy says. “He’s very quietly spoken. He’s not brash at all. He’s a gentle, intelligent guy, but he just simply wasn’t interested in fitting a Dickensian cliché.”

“I’ll take that,” Alwyn says when I pass on the compliment, having not considered his technique in such terms. He is 28 and would probably accept that he is best known for two facts: the first is that he is Taylor Swift’s boyfriend; the second that, aged 25 and with no professional acting experience, he won the title role in an Ang Lee movie.

He is from north London, the middle of three sons. Their father is the television documentary-maker Richard Alwyn, renowned for making The Shrine about the public reaction to Princess Diana’s death.

“He was away a bit,” Alwyn says. “He made quite a lot of films in Africa when I was growing up. He was often in Uganda, Rwanda at one point, South Sudan. So he’d come back with stories and artefacts from all over the place. He made a great documentary in Liverpool during the World Cup about two kids on an estate growing up there.”

His mother, Elizabeth, is a psychotherapist. So, I say, although his family were comfortably off and he was sent to the fee-paying City of London School, he knew something of other people’s lives?

“All different kinds of people, all different kinds of stories,” he says. “Obviously, she couldn’t share them with me in the same way that Dad could, but both their jobs take an interest in other people and are about how to empathise, understand, and listen to stories and tell stories. I suppose it’s not a million miles away from an actor’s job; listening to other people, understanding them, trying to tell stories.”

I ask about the contemporary political resonances of A Christmas Carol. I cite the wealth of certain members of his profession and of Swift’s. Only the other day I have read that she has a private jet so she can visit Alwyn on a whim. He promises me that 99.9 per cent of what the press write about them is false, and this is an example.

I ask if he finds it embarrassing.

“Find what embarrassing?”

The disparity between the amount some people earn and the wages of workers in, say, Amazon fulfilment centres.

“I saw something in The Guardian the other day, I think, saying that the top six richest people in the UK accumulate the same amount of wealth as the poorest 13 million. I think that was the figure,” he says.

And politics today?

“It’s bigger than Scrooge, but it’s the same thing amplified; not being able to see beyond yourself, building walls, cutting yourself off from other countries. If there was ever a story to counter that, featuring someone who epitomises that and then who remembers who he is as a human being, it is A Christmas Carol.”

Unlike the young Dickens, Alwyn was not a boy to stand on a table and sing and dance. As a child he auditioned to play Liam Neeson’s son in the Richard Curtis film Love Actually, but didn’t get it. He harboured ambitions to act, but pursued them only later at the University of Bristol, where he took plays up to the Edinburgh Fringe. One night he acted before an audience of one: the writer’s mother. Undeterred, he went on to the Royal Central School of Speech and Drama, joining the scramble at the end to find an agent. Weeks later, his new agent rang to say that Ang Lee was working on a new film, Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk, and wanted to see an audition tape.

“I got some mates to film me in a lunch break and then my dad filmed another scene, and we got a call that night saying, ‘He wants to meet you this weekend. He’s saying, we’re going to put you on a plane and take you out of school. Come for the weekend. Learn these scenes.’ ”

As Billy, a young US Marine fêted for killing an enemy assailant in Iraq, Alwyn was painfully believable; a virgin solider returning home to be exploited for an act that had devastated him. The film did not do well, mainly because it was shot at a hyper-reality frame rate that few cinemas had the technology to show, but Alwyn was on his way.

“Things only evolve by change and people taking risks,” he says. “And Ang Lee is someone who I admire for that. None of his films are the same. Maybe thematically they draw on the same things, but he’s always pushing the boundaries.”

The same can be said for A Christmas Carol and, even more, about Yorgos Lanthimos’s The Favourite, in which Alwyn appeared alongside Emma Stone and Olivia Colman. It applies less so to his other recent films, Mary Queen of Scots, Boy Erased and now Harriet, a faithful biopic about the slave liberator Harriet Tubman in which he played a slave owner’s son. What he has managed to do consistently is work and learn from some seriously good actresses — Colman, Stone, Saoirse Ronan and Cynthia Erivo. “I know. I am targeting them,” he jokes.

I tell him my daughters have insisted I ask if he minds Swift writing songs about him (whole albums, actually, but check out London Boy if you are in search of a little cringe). “No, not at all. No. It’s flattering.”

Does it matter to him that the press — it’s a bit metatextual this, I admit, for I’m probably doing the same thing — make it obvious that they are as interested in his girlfriend as they are in him? “I just don’t pay attention to what I don’t want to pay attention to,” he explains tolerantly. “I turn everything else down on a dial. I don’t have any interest in tabloids. I know what I want to do, and that’s this, and that’s what I am doing.”

The boyf, described only the other day as “mysterious” in one of those tabloids, is no mystery at all. He knows what he wants for Christmas, and it is the career he is already forging.

A Christmas Carol begins on BBC One at 9pm on Sunday

[rayraywrites]

Title: Maybe things happen.

Chapter 3: Cooking Games (Day 2- Swap)

Characters: Miyuki Kazuya, Kuramochi Youichi, Sawamura Eijun (minor)

Relationship: Miyuki Kazuya x Kuramochi Youichi

Rating: General Audiences

Total Word Count: 2654

AO3

Event: @daiyarpwk2020​

Clicking on another video he focussed in on the same face that he’d been gazing at for hours. He laughed softly at the same lame intro he’d been hearing in each video. The same dorky glasses and apron. He gulped silently at each intense look shot at the camera when concentration was required. His smile grew as each successful cook was greeted with a brilliant grin.

“Welcome back to home plate kitchen.” The man shot a smirk at the camera before continuing, “I’m your favourite catcher, Miyuki, here to share another recipe.” 

Youichi barely focussed on the actual meal, simply watching the ease at which the man moved around his kitchen and the mastery of his art. He wasn’t a mess in the kitchen, but watching this chef easily switch between different styles and types of recipes each video and make successful food each time, it rankled a bit. Yet he was fascinated. 

But what drew him even more was the moments of silliness that would pepper throughout the videos. When Miyuki would sometimes attempt to lift a hot pan off the stove without mitts and then whip his hand back. The incredulous look on the man’s face coupled with rapidly shoving his burning hand under cold water pulled raucous laughter out of his mouth. He especially enjoyed when Miyuki’s housemate, Sawamura, would appear in the frame to pull silly faces that wouldn’t be seen until editing. The captions insulting Sawamura were particularly amusing for him. 

He had spent a couple days watching Miyuki’s videos, realistically he was binging them. It had been a lark, having seen a comment under one of his own videos about a week ago. 

gamer_goose35: you know what would be great? thechefcatcher and Mochi making a video together! They have the same type of humour! Plus think of the video options!

Youichi had been curious, having not heard about “thechefcatcher” before, so he looked the other youtuber up. That led to days of listening to the same sarcastic laughter, the snarky side comments at every recipe, and gazing at the talented movements that attracted him first. 

When he finally glanced at the clock on his laptop he saw that it was approaching three am. With a slightly hysterical laugh, Youichi closed the lid and placed it aside. He’d deal with his new strange obsession another time. Right now he needed to sleep. Tomorrow, well later that same day, he had plans to shoot two new videos. He needed the sleep. Getting under the covers, he tried to convince himself to fall asleep. But each time he closed his eyes, all he saw were Miyuki’s eyes blinking back at him. He spent much of the night tossing and turning, restlessly attempting to fall asleep.

--

Clicking on the email icon, Kazuya began deleting all the trash that filled his inbox. Switching between his calendar and an email from another cooking channel who reached out to him for a collab, he sent off a couple days that would fit his schedule. Switching to his social media, Kazuya sent out the usual morning tweet that his followers were expecting. Nabe had recommended that he start interacting more with his fans, and disagreeing with his manager was something Kazuya had quickly learnt wasn’t a smart decision.

@thechef_catcher: good morning. But also what constitutes a “good” morning. We’re all waking up much too early and having to go to work and slog our way through the day. So really...just morning. (6:37 AM)

There, that would keep Nabe off his back, for at least a couple days. Sliding off his bed, Kazuya winced slightly as his foot hit the ground a bit too hard. Waiting for the jarring feeling in his ankle to subside before trying to stand again, he glared down at the floor. Finally feeling up to standing up again, Kazuya moved towards his closet, changing into his usual jogging outfit. With it being the off season, he could usually find Sawamura hovering around the kitchen. Sure enough the pitcher was still there, ready for their morning run. 

As normal, Kazuya put in earbuds, drowning out Sawamura’s inane chatter so early in the morning and stepped outside of their apartment. He had thrown in a small heating pad into his bag before leaving the house, in case his ankle started acting up again. Running their usual route, Kazuya let himself sink into the music and the monotonous sound of his feet pounding on the pavement. By the time they rounded back to the apartment Kazuya could feel the sweat running down his neck. With a shaky grin he nodded his head back at the street, telling Sawamura to keep going. Heading back inside, Kazuya went straight for a shower, changed into his outfit for the day, grabbed his computer and headed towards the kitchen.

Today’s video was going to be about Sanuki Udon. He had spent a couple weeks working with the local udon shop alongside the chefs to perfect his technique. He had already filmed his first failed attempts a while back, following recipes online. Setting the cameras up, he prepped the kitchen before picking up his phone. Texting Sawamura that he would be busy for the next hour or so, Kazuya got started. Slipping his branded apron over his head, he switched the camera on and began speaking.

“Ohayo everyone! Welcome back to home plate kitchen. Your friendly neighbourhood catcher is here!” He said the words with an awkward smile, hating that Sawamura had convinced him to start his videos with such a cheesy introduction. Even if it worked as his fans took to the puns and silly intro, he hated it, but he carried on. 

Seven years ago Kazuya would never have considered that his days would be littered with recording himself cooking, editing videos, and becoming as unathletic and baseball oriented as he had. But another bad collision at home plate, and a shattered ankle had ended his career. Six months after he managed to walk on his ankle safely, he was still just sitting around his home and moping. It had been Sawamura’s suggestion to start the channel, something to do for fun while he figured out what to do with his career now. Kazuya had been uninterested at first, putting in very little effort and just cooking whatever came to mind. But the fact that people seemed to enjoy it and Sawamura kept crowing about how the channel kept growing made him start to give it a bit more attention. But even moreso, he started to enjoy it a bit more. There was something oddly enjoyable about just talking to a camera for a couple of hours and cooking food. And with Sawamura living with him, he wasn’t just cooking for himself. 

It was kind of nice. 

“Alright, with a completed dish, I think we’ve completed all nine innings, and it’s time for this video to wrap-up!” He placed the completed Sanuki udon onto the front of his counter. With the recording complete it was time for editing. Luckily with experience and time he’d managed to get better at editing. Moving back to his room with the camera SD cards he settled down at his desk. The video wouldn’t be released for another week or so, but Kazuya wanted to complete editing so that he’d have the rest of the day free. As he was fiddling with the font for the side text explaining each step he completed, he heard the extra chair in the room being dragged to sit beside him. Turning his head slightly he smirked at Sawamura who settled into the chair with a loud thump! Reaching over and ruffling the pitcher’s hair, he turned back to his computer. 

“How was your run, Sawamura?” 

“You missed out on the cutest dog Miyuki-senpai! It was adorable, with its tail wagging everywhere!” 

He couldn’t help but laugh at how Sawamura sounded like he’d seen the cutest thing on the planet. “Ah, so you met your family member, how lovely!” The affronted look on Sawamura’s face was worth all the hits his shoulder received.

“Stupid Miyuki, you’re just sad you missed out on the dog.” Sawamura’s countenance suddenly brightened as another brilliant idea came, “this Sawamura will make sure to take a photo for next time!”

Smiling to himself, Kazuya couldn’t help the sigh that escaped his lips. Sawamura never ceased to amuse him, but even moreso, he was a bright light in his life. He was still the most eye-catching sunflower Kazuya had ever seen. And fully bloomed. “Sure...whatever you say Bakamura.” 

“Idiot Miyuki....” Sawamura had switched to looking at his phone, muttering threats under his breath as he often did around Kazuya. 

Out of the corner of his eye Kazuya watched as Sawamura continued scrolling on his phone, becoming comfortable in the chair. Giving his full focus back to his video, Kazuya ignored his desk partner for about thirty minutes until a loud shout made him almost jump. Turning and glaring at Sawamura, Kazuya waited impatiently for an explanation. 

“Miyuki! Mochi uploaded another video! It’s a cooking video!” Sawamura’s voice was loud as ever, but laced with astonishment.

He felt the joy course through his body, excitement filling his veins at the news. Both of them had gotten hooked onto @gamermaimer’s videos a few years back. Sawamura enjoyed the commentary while Mochi played the game, but Kazuya had become enthralled with the gamer’s voice. There was something soothing about it, but he also felt something from the grainy sounds. And then, last year they’d received a face reveal, Kazuya had been floored. He hadn’t expected to find spiked green hair, eyeliner, and a lip piercing as attractive as he had. 

“Give me ten minutes, I should be ready to watch.” He tried to nonchalantly speak, but he knew Sawamura was aware of his crush. The number of times Sawamura had recommended that he contact Mochi to collab was high, but every time he looked at the differences in their video styles, Kazuya hesitated. But cooking? Maybe there was a chance here. They sat down to watch the video.

“Hey maimers! Obviously this isn’t my usual set up, but I’ve been inspired. One of you folks recommended a channel for me to watch and maybe collab with.” 

They both laughed when Mochi fumbled with his phone to read off the channel, but then froze when he said the name.

“Oh what was it...here we go! thechefcatcher! I’ve spent the past few days watching....”

Kazuya felt his breath catch in his throat, disbelief pouring out of him. But when he turned towards Sawamura, the same surprise was on the pitcher’s face. 

What.

--

Youichi was nervous releasing the video. He had struggled through the cook, even if he had picked a fairly straightforward dish to make. Baking was not his forte though and the roof would probably always have that strange orange-coloured splotch on it from his first attempt. But embarrassing himself for a video was not a big deal, he’d done it before. It was the fact that he’d called out his new obsession, he’d mentioned the youtuber who’d been living in his dreams. The tweet he’d posted had Miyuki tagged and for a normally brash person, Youichi was feeling uneasy about that decision.

The notification that @thechef_catcher liked and retweeted his tweet gave him heart palpitations. Deciding to take the plunge, he DM-ed Miyuki. 

@gamermaimer: hi

@thechef_catcher: hey

@gamermaimer: so...uh you watched my video...

@thechef_catcher: why else would I have rt your tweet? 

He stared blankly at his phone. What was that? He laughed in spite of himself, hysterically. 

@gamermaimer: yeah well. What did you think?

He meant about the offer of a collab at the end of the video. He meant the proposal of trying something new for both of them. What Miyuki responded with though?

@thechef_catcher: well you absolutely failed at every step so I’m amazed you managed to get any cake onto that table. 

@thechef_catcher: Geez Mochi, it’s almost like you bought a replacement cake to pretend you succeeded.

Somehow he wasn’t surprised to see that Miyuki’s personality was as twisted as it was. But it took two to tango.

@gamermaimer: well, if I sucked so bad, maybe you ought to come fix me?

He waited and the reply took more time to arrive compared to the last but it still came. He anxiously tapped the message notification. 

@thechef_catcher: perhaps I will.

He let out a sigh and his shoulders relaxed. Their conversation continued, figuring out dates and times that would work for both their schedules. They agreed that the first video would be with him in Miyuki’s kitchen. He asked if Sawamura would be there, and received a teasing response. So when Miyuki asked what video they would do for his channel, Youichi proffered the only realistic response.

@gamermaimer: well of course we have to play a video game.

It was only later, when he went to go follow Miyuki on twitter as well, that Youichi realized something. He shouted angrily, throwing his phone down onto the ground. Petulantly he whined to himself, “the idiot’s already following me.”

–– 

The day of filming was awkward. He arrived early, not by much, but early enough that it was obvious. He had already sent out the customary tweet announcing his “secret” plans for a video.

@gamermaimer: well sometimes you get lucky with your videos. Other times you meet a moron and make a stupid decision (10:34 AM)

Sawamura was there, hovering in the dining room. Fiddling with a camera setting even with Miyuki telling him to stop touching the camera every five seconds. Youichi blinked confusedly at both of them. They were fidgety and uncomfortable. Because of him?

“Hey! Hey idiots!” They both turned to him; Miyuki put down the pots he was randomly holding, Sawamura looked up from the camera. “What the hell is going on? Some explanation for your bizarre behaviour would be wonderful, please.” The last few words came out sarcastic, and he knew the look on his face matched his tone. For some reason being around both of them was easy. In the way most collabs never were; he felt at home with them. So he skipped past politeness and jumped straight into insults. “I realize that you’re both morons, but if we could at least get the video started?”

Miyuki seemingly calmed down at that, chuckling hesitantly even as he gazed at Sawamura with a lost look. But it was Sawamura seemingly snapping out of whatever funk he was in that finally set things normal. “Mochi!”

Youichi turned to face Sawamura expectantly, but the excitement seemed to have rapidly fizzled out before Sawamura exhaled deeply, you could see the air! He laughed to himself.

“Can I get a photo with you? I’ve...We’ve been watching you play for three years now!” 

He hadn’t expected that. Glancing at Miyuki, Youichi was stunned to see the usually calm face turning bright red before the chef looked down at the counter. Throwing his head back, Youichi let himself laugh freely, ignoring the squawks from Sawamura. Wiping tears from the corner of his eyes, he laughed softly one more time before replying. “Sure. Sure. But only if I get an autograph from you,” he nodded at Sawamura and then softly, “and your phone number.” He stared at Miyuki, waiting for acknowledgement. Miyuki nodded stiffly, but his eyes had only shifted from the counter to glare at Sawamura.

“I don’t exactly have three years as a credential...but is 48 hours of no sleep from binging your channel good enough?” He laughed at the stunned look on Miyuki’s face. “So, what do you say....my friendly neighbourhood catcher?” 

But rather than the huffy noise he expected, Miyuki still managed to surprise him. A smirk and, “well...I think you mean a maimer don’t you, Youichi?”

He grinned.